Under a Friendly Spell

Wow, as a Christian woman with a narcissistic mother and possibly a sister, I have been wondering the same thing. If you have any insight, please share. Thanks!

Jesus would follow the instructions given by God the father. God is very clear on what we are to do about evil, especially evil within our families and church. Separate ourselves from it! He knows that evil is contagious and destroys everyone around it. We are not to support evil in any form. We are to run away from it. Spend time reading the bible about evil and you will see what you are to do. I separated myself from my mother a long time ago when I finally realized that she was indeed evil. Narcissism is evil, it is hell on earth. I would encourage you to get your mother and sister out of your life and start recovery.

Jesus would follow the instructions given by God the father. God is very clear on what we are to do about evil, especially evil within our families and church. Separate ourselves from it! He knows that evil is contagious and destroys everyone around it. We are not to support evil in any form. We are to run away from it. Spend time reading the bible about evil and you will see what you are to do. I separated myself from my mother a long time ago when I finally realized that she was indeed evil. Narcissism is evil, it is hell on earth. I would encourage you to get your mother and sister out of your life and start recovery.

Hello, I've read so many books on narcissism being in the same boat as you, although I stumbled across NPD quite a few years ago. As a Christian, I understand your concerns regarding honoring your parents. If you choose to maintain contact with your mother, the best "How To" instructional manual on the market as far as hands-on practical every day type guidelines for dealing with NPD is: The Complete Idiot's guide to: Coping With Difficult People. I just finished that book, and so wish I found it years ago. There are tons of books on narcissism. I've read most every one out there but, "Coping With Difficult People" has helped me most with "managing" narcissists, which of course makes my world a little better. A wonderful website with very informative, free blog material is: http://thenarcissistinyourlife.com. And a book that may help you establish boundaries without feeling guilty is: "Narcissistic Predicaments: A Biblical Guide To Navigating The Schemes, Snares, And No-Win Situations Unique To Abusive Families". The best recommendation I can give you is to learn as much about NPD as you can and treat yourself to therapy and a really good support system! You are not alone, and you are never to old to re-define yourself! Despite what the narcissists in your life think, you are worthy! Sending Soul Healing Vibes Your Way... God Bless, Cathy

I also grew up with a narcissistic motherand younger sisters -where I was the family scapegoat. I had to separate myself (severed any relationship) in order to live in peace - with deep understanding that I am under Grace. I can't fix the problem and I can't change them... but I can change me...so I chose to remove myself, forgave them, giving room for God to do his stuff. Jesus didn't go back to look for those narcissistic self-righteous men in the temple early Sunday morning after he rose from the dead. Even though He died on the cross for their sins too. Jesus went looking for his friends. And so I look for my friends...those who make me want to grow and be more than what I was told as a child. However, I believe it is right to honor my parents, so I sent my mother gifts... I never missed her birthday, MOther's Day, Christmas, and other special events/occassions. Also,I gave her money for her daily needs - but I kept my distance. She died over a month ago at the age of 86. I'm 60 as well, and I have no regrets trusting God and His amazing grace! Take care of yourself - I am convinced that when God said to love him, love others as ourselves - loving ourselves correctely is imperative! Blessings!

I too grew up with narcissistic mother and young sisters where I was the family scapegoat. I chose to remove myself to find peace with deep understanding that I am under grace. Jesus did not go look for his abusers and murderers, especially those self-righteous narcissistic church leaders after his resurrection. And He died for them too because He loved them. He went looking for his friends. I went to find friends - people who made me want to be more than what I was told as a child. I knew I can't change them and I can't fix the problem, but I can choose to make changes in my life. Although I kept my distance,I chose to honor my mother by sending her gifts for each occasion and money for her daily needs. My mother died at 86 just over a month ago and I can go to sleep at night with no regrets, trusting God. Take care of yourself... we are to remove ourselves from fools (PRov 14:7). My only regret is she didn't know the depth of God's love to find contentment in Him... but as a believer, I trust she's with God and learning to love... Blessings!

I too grew up with narcissistic mother and young sisters where I was the family scapegoat. I chose to remove myself to find peace with deep understanding that I am under grace. Jesus did not go look for his abusers and murderers, especially those self-righteous narcissistic church leaders after his resurrection. And He died for them too because He loved them. He went looking for his friends. I went to find friends - people who made me want to be more than what I was told as a child. I knew I can't change them and I can't fix the problem, but I can choose to make changes in my life. Although I kept my distance,I chose to honor my mother by sending her gifts for each occasion and money for her daily needs. My mother died at 86 just over a month ago and I can go to sleep at night with no regrets, trusting God. Take care of yourself... we are to remove ourselves from fools (PRov 14:7). My only regret is she didn't know the depth of God's love to find contentment in Him... but as a believer, I trust she's with God and learning to love... Blessings!

Hello,

There is hope! There is a way... I have just read the book Living successfully with Screwed Up People by Elizabeth B.Brown and has help me a lot to understand and what to do about it.

Good luck!

Find a good therapist in your local area. I prefer going to a man, but it's personal preference. Ask them beforehand if they have extensive clinical experience working with Personality Disordered individuals. This is a MUST. Have them explain their experience to your. Treat it like an interview. You don't want someone who just says she was "sick" and make excuses for her. You DO want someone who has the skills to help you!

I am so sorry. My heart breaks for you. YOu must feel so violated. My mother has also turned my older son against me. He was very angry teenager who basically told me at age 18 that he could not do whatever he wanted. I would not allow it and gave him choice to change or leave. He would not change. At any rate he went to his father(who had not spoken to or seen him in 3 years/living in next town) and the two had a field day teaging me down. Little did I know so did my mother. She enabled him completely and told him it was all my fault. Now I have not seen him or spoken to him in 2 years because I set up boundaries with my mother. She is spiteful, manupulative, extremely cruel.