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Chronic Illness
A Before and After Snapshot of Chronic Illness, Part 2
Life “before” versus life “after” chronic pain and illness.
Posted January 11, 2015
In 2013, I wrote a “before” and “after” snapshot of life with chronic pain and illness. You can read that here. Since posting that piece, I’ve added sufficiently to the list that I thought I’d add Part 2 to “life before” and “life after.”
Before: Up most of the night? Funky day ahead.
After: Up most of the night? Miserable day—and possibly week—ahead.
Before: Naps are sweet and luxurious.
After: Naps aren’t even pleasant.
I lie down to nap because my symptoms have become too intense to stay upright; but then I struggle to fall sleep due to those very same symptoms.
Before: Recliner, defined: “A chair with an adjustable back and foot rest.”
After: Recliner, defined: “A chair that, when placed in the living room, is my ticket out of the bedroom.”
Before: Monday-Friday 8 a.m. to 5 p.m., my employer bears the cost of keeping me warm in the winter and cool in the summer.
After: The entire cost falls to me.
Even though I live in California, it’s cold in the winter, especially when the fog blocks the sun for days on end. In summer, it’s often over 100° F. I’ve made peace with the drain on my budget by treating heating and cooling as medical costs.
Before: Spend a good chunk of money on work clothes and on fun activities outside the house.
After: Per previous entry, a lot of that money goes to heating and air conditioning.
Before: Shower guests with choices: “Would you like tea? Coffee? How about a beer? Some Perrier?”
After: “Can I get you a glass of water?”
Before: Casual relationship with vitamins and other supplements; take a few random ones in case they’re good for me.
After: Spend hours online, researching vitamins and supplements; and spend way too much money on them.
Why? Because I look upon every vitamin and every supplement as a potential cure. No luck yet, but I’m still trying.
Before: Love going to the movies; never watch one on TV if I can see it in the theater.
After: Thankful if the darned thing just makes it to TV.
Before: Love foreign films.
After: Never watch them; too hard to read subtitles.
Before: Hate to delegate—both at work and at home.
After: Call me super-delegator.
And I don’t even care if the task is completed exactly how I’d have done it. It’s finished and that’s good enough.
Before: “Perfectionist” is my middle name.
After: Per previous entry, “good enough” is my middle name.
“Did my shirts get through the wash cycle?” They’re clean, even if a few stains remain. “Did I manage to shove the sheet and the blanket under the pillows at the top of the bed?” Bed made! (Caveat: I am a perfectionist about my writing, but that doesn’t count because I wasn’t a writer before I became chronically ill.)
Before: Before going out, try on several outfits to see which looks best; use curling iron on hair and maybe eye shadow, under-eye concealer, and lipstick.
After: Throw on what’s nearby in the closet, hoping it doesn’t look like sleepwear. Run brush through hair.
Before: Phone rings: Pick it up.
After: Phone rings: Let answering machine pick it up unless it’s a doctor’s office, family member, or close friend.
Before: Hate beets.
After: Hate beets.
If you'd like to share your Before and After insights, leave a comment below!
For my first “Before” and “After” piece, click here.
© 2015 Toni Bernhard. Thank you for reading my work. I'm the author of four books:
How to Be Sick: Your Pocket Companion (for those who've read How to Be Sick and for those who haven't). May 2020
How to Live Well with Chronic Pain and Illness: A Mindful Guide (2015)
How to Wake Up: A Buddhist-Inspired Guide to Navigating Joy and Sorrow (2013)
All of my books are available in audio format from Amazon, audible.com, and iTunes.
Visit www.tonibernhard.com for more information and buying options.
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Image: Public Domain
