I was being terrorized not by the intrusive thoughts, but by the exasperating persistence of the OCD itself. Somehow, unbelievably, maddeningly—I had started obsessing about obsessing. Read More
I am where you are at. Or where. The frustrating part is it goes away and i experience what feels like remission for a long period of time, then I have a lapse and I go insane about getting back to good and have to do the therapy JUST RIGHT.
My current obsession is whether or not positive self talk and encouraging myself is making me feel better or worse because it keeps me focused on having OCD.
It's pretty ridiculous when loving yourself and sayihng nice things to yourself which we all need suddenly becomes "danger" and "possibly counterproductive." But you know what makes me feel worse? It's not saying nice things to myself, it's going online to find this article to desperately get a one size fits all answer.
Gonna let it be. I have the confidence within me and that's all that positive self statements are, rebuilding the trust in myself. And the next time I have doubt, instead of rushing online which is my true compulsion I am going to say "I can handle this crap." And go on.
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Fletcher Wortmann is the author of Triggered: A Memoir of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.
Who says marriage is where desire goes to die?