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Suicide

Is Your Man Going to Self-Destruct?

The Bigger They Are, The Harder They Fall

Do you know a man who is successful?

Does his success give him status, power, and influence?

Does he work without direct supervision?

Is he exceptionally confident about his (unique) abilities?

Is he emotionally rather isolated…self-involved or aloof?

Then you may know someone at risk for self-destruction.

In recent weeks we’ve seen the social and moral collapse of mighty men. They were famous men with a lifetime of success and reputations for moral leadership who crashed and burned in flames of allegations of sexual misconduct and abuse. Among them were a long-admired actor/comedian/educator who served as a model husband and father, and a prominent, influential member of the clergy.

These men were by no means the first. Recent years have revealed pedophilic and corrupt clergy, abusive college coaches, and felonious leadership in business, in politics and government. We’ve watched the perp walk on TV often enough for it to have become cliché. We’ve seen impeachment hearings - even suicide - as one after another, great men fell down in disgrace from the pinnacle of success.

Why did these men self-destruct?

Their stories are a glimpse into the dark side of organizational and professional success. With time, the successful man’s access to resources and power can easily lead to complacency. The work that led to his success is no longer challenging, he loses focus, and falls prey to his sense of entitlement, along with his inflated assumption of his own ability.

Where there is insufficient or weak oversight, his risk increases.

Like the cowboy heroes of American mythology, the at-risk successful man feels immune to the constraints that channel more “ordinary” folks’ moral behavior. At the same time, the life of success often crowds out attention to one’s personal relationships, leading to an unbalanced life, and loosening the constraints of marriage and family. With his own desire and will paramount, the at-risk successful man seeks thrills and meaning in marginal/illegal/abusive behavior. Getting what he wants, and getting away with it fill his internal void, and confirm that he is superior and special.

So far the dark side of success has been a predominantly male phenomenon, but that doesn’t mean females are immune. There just may not have been a large enough number of very successful and powerful women yet. We’ll have to wait and see.

In the meantime, though, we note that in many ways men are the more delicate sex. This is especially true in terms of longevity: Men die off in greater numbers than women do at every stage of life, leaving them with an average life span seven years shorter than women’s. In the U.S. the death rate for men from suicide is four times as high as the death rate for women, who attempt suicide more often. Similarly, men are more likely to be victims of homicide: for people under age 30, the male to female radio for death by homicide is an incredible 8 to 1.

The statistics for male self-destructive behavior are grim: They are twice as likely as females to be alcoholic, and three times as likely to be drug addicts. They are eight times more likely to be incarcerated, and more likely to be kicked out or to drop out of school.

Men gamble their lives away 2-3 times more often than women do. This propensity to gambling – taking risks, playing dangerous games – may be another clue to understanding phenomenon of self-destructing successful men.

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