However, chances are you didn't raise your hand. I'm willing to bet that if you are reading this article, you are all-too-familiar with that uninvited houseguest. Say hello to your good buddy, Rejection.

Now, what you probably already know about rejection is that he isn't too shy about showing up at the most inappropriate places and at the most inopportune times.

In fact, some common situations where he loves to drop by include when you are:

• Deeply in love
• Chasing your dreams
• Job hunting
• Starting a new venture
• Pursing your personal projects
• Applying and auditioning

And, God knows this list is not exhaustive. Just when you have filed the restraining order and unlisted your phone number guess who managed to find you? That's right: Rejection.

Your Old Nemesis: Rejection

Do you remember when you first met that meddlesome stranger? I remember the first time I shook his cold, clammy hand. I can still feel the sweat on my palm. It was summer camp; I was seven. We had to swim across the pool "freestyle" in order to earn a green plastic necklace announcing our admission into the coveted deep end. I thought "freestyle" meant we were free to pick any style we wanted. This is America after all! The style I picked was swimming at the bottom of the pool and not coming up for air. I did not earn the attractive green necklace. Instead, I sported a red one the entire duration of camp. I entered a "highly exclusive" group of non deep-end-goers made up of only two girls, a girl from Honduras and myself. Because she didn't speak any English, we couldn't even commiserate about our exclusion.

You probably remember your first encounter with rejection: being picked last in gym class or not getting into the advanced reading or math class in elementary school. Perhaps it came at home or on the playground.

Since a young age we have been tormented by rejection. We have seen rejection crop up at school, at work, in relationships, and in the pursuit of our dreams. Over the years, we have been rejected by significant others, from teams, from programs, from projects, from companies, from roles, from organizations, and from institutions.

Logic would suggest that if we have been confronting rejection since a young age on numerous occasions, over the years we should be experts at getting over rejection by now. We all know this isn't the case.

Why Does Rejection Hurt Us So Badly?

The honest truth is that rejection sucks. Rejection hurts now and will in the future. (Good on you rejection for at least being consistent.)

The purpose of this article is to build our awareness about why rejection hurts so badly, and why even after years of exposure we are not immune to its pernicious effects. In this article we examine rejection psychologically and evolutionarily, to discover what is happening to us neurologically when we feel rejected and why anthropologically speaking, we are hardwired to fear rejection.

Rejection comes from Latin, meaning thrown back. When we are rejected, we feel not only halted but pushed back in the opposite direction of which we were headed. Now consider this, when rejected, how do we describe the event? We tend to say, "I was rejected." Notice what is going on here. We are using passive voice. This indicates how we feel about the part we play in rejection. We view ourselves as passive, as being the victim of an action, as inactive, as nonparticipative.

Rejection Is Physiologically Heart-Breaking

Do you remember when I made you slap your face? Let's return to that moment to continue the discussion of what it feels like to be rejected. Okay, you have just received the swift blow of rejection knocking you off guard and what happens? First, you are stunned, disoriented from the blow. You feel weak and helpless. Your body begins to shut down, as you lay there paralyzed from the injury. You might think that I am being overly dramatic, but this is what happens biologically when your body responds to rejection.

Scientists from the University of Amsterdam found that unexpected social rejection is associated with a significant response of the parasympathetic nervous system. Let's take a quick time-out to discuss just what the heck is the parasympathetic nervous system. When the body is active, generally in fight or flight mode, the sympathetic system engages, heart rate quickens, pupils dilate, energy is directed towards allowing the body to react quickly. However, the parasympathetic system is responsible for when the body is at rest.

Remember how we discussed speaking of rejection in passive voice: "I was rejected"? Well, studies have found that after rejection not only do we think passively, but also we act passively. When faced with unexpected social rejection, research has found that "feeling that you are not liked" results in our heart rate actually slowing down, an activity of the parasympathetic nervous system. Thus, feeling rejected results in you reacting both psychologically and physically. It is interesting to mention that in this study participants' heart rates fell not only when they heard a person's unfavorable opinion of them but also in anticipation of hearing a person's opinion. If told that the person's opinion of him or her was unfavorable, the individual's heart rate plummeted even further and took longer to return to baseline. Additionally, heart rates slowed even more when individuals expected a positive opinion but received a negative one. This explains how rejection, especially the kind that blindsides you, literally feels heartbreaking.

We Are Hard-Wired to Fear Rejection

As human beings, we are extremely sensitive to rejection, especially forms of social rejection. We have a strong motivation to seek approval and acceptance. If we take an anthropological perspective, we can see how back in the day-I'm talking about back in the 10,000 BC day-you knew that if you were on your own, your chance of survival was nil. You needed your tribe for food, shelter, and protection. Being rejected from others meant imminent death. Evolutionarily speaking, we are hardwired to form social relationships and strongly motivated to feel liked and feel like we belong.

Getting Over a Breakup Is Like Getting Over a Cocaine Addiction

Neurologically speaking, rejection sucks! And, arguably the worst type of rejection is romantic rejection. Getting over a breakup is like getting over an addition to cocaine. Oh, that isn't just my personal viewpoint; it is also the opinion and the scientific finding of researchers at Stony Brook University. The researchers found that the area of the brain that is active during the pain and anguish experienced during a breakup is the same part of the brain associated with motivation, reward, and addiction cravings. Brain imaging shows similarities between romantic rejection and cocaine craving.

Rejection hurts so acutely because we get addicted to the relationship, only to have it taken away from us. And after, just like a drug addiction, we go through withdrawal.