On a 10 point scale, how is your marriage? The essence here is not to be disappointed or unduly worried if you can't rate your marriage as a 9, or a 10. Why? Because on a 10 point scale, the best any marriage can be is an 8. And that's high. Personality differences, needs, feelings, dissatisfactions, inconveniences, and so forth are always the obvious culprits in any marriage. Therefore, most good marriages rate between a 6, to an 8. Don't be worried about the 6 so long as there is a range and shift between the 6, and the 8. The bald fact is that most in-tact marriages rate a paltry 5. It is in such relationships that people are not struggling very well.
Thus, 6, to 8 is damn good. It means you and your spouse are talking, debating, arguing, and working for greater common ground. In addition, any marriage that rates a 6, to 8 is one where affection and sex, in all likelihood, remain as active and important aspects of the relationship.
It is differences in personality, gender, maturity, needs, and emotional style, that cause the perfect 10 rating in a marriage to be only a dream. Only in theory can the 10 rating exist - never in reality. The perfect 10 is actually only a goal to be approximated.
Wisdom:
In order to feel that you have a perfect 10 in a relationship, you need to fool yourself into thinking that your married to yourself. But, of course, that's really a zero. Thus, 6 to 8's need to celebrate.
From: Love Is Not Enough: What It Takes To Make It Work
The Dictionary Corner
Malignant Trend - Pointing toward the inexorable development of a chronically debilitating condition.
Panic Disorder - In panic, the person is overwhelmed and the experience of panic (along with its feelings of panic and dread) can lead to a sense of depersonalization.
Depersonalization - A condition that is frequently considered in existential terms as a feeling of differentness than the usual self. The person feels strangely different.
From: Dictionary of Psychopathology
