All kids lie sometimes, but some lie much more than others. Can you tell who is who? Read More
This is a helpful model for conceptualizing parent-teen trust, thanks. As a parent of teens myself, I can attest to how helpful it has been to have a foundation of consistency and communication that was laid years before adolescence. It certainly doesn't prevent sneaky behavior on the part of my teens, but it makes talking about it that much easier. Thanks!
I really feel that every positive interaction you have from the time your child is born is an investment. Not only in them, but in your relationship.
By the time they get to be teenagers, all the tempting, potentially risky decisions your child will make takes place when they are out of your sight. Whether they tend to act according to the values you've hoped to instill or go in another directions depends on the positive relationship you've had with them and the high standards you've instilled.
That means love and also strictness and high expectations.
As a teenager myself, I think it's extremely important for parents and teens to have a trusting relationship with each other. I'm an intern for RadicalParenting.com, a site that is full of articles written by teens on teen life and parenting help. There's an article called "Teen Lie To Me", which discusses small physical changes that parents should look out for to tell if their teen is lying to them. Here's the link: http://www.radicalparenting.com/2011/01/20/teen-lie-to-me/
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Nancy Darling, Ph.D., is a Professor at Oberlin College.
It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.