Think Confident, Be Confident

Cognitive Therapy techniques for eliminating doubt and achieving lifelong self-esteem.

Six Ways to Boost Your Self-Esteem

Has your self-esteem gone into hibernation with the bears


Has your self-esteem gone into hibernation with the bears or fallen by the wayside like the leaves on the trees? Before you let one more moment slip away, put the spring back into your step without waiting for the thaw. Whether your self-esteem is still going strong, fading, has disappeared all together, it makes sense for all us to nurture our confidence. Confidence equips us to face the tough and unpleasant times and allows for joy and pleasure when living is easy.
Here are 6 ways to give a boost to your self-esteem:
1. Recognize and embrace your positive qualities. Make a list of all your assets including skills, experiences, physical and social resources, talents, and anything else that makes you feel good about yourself. Add to the list the compliments that others have given you as well. Reminding yourself of all your assets is a sure confidence booster.

2. Accept that you are a desirable package rather than any one individual item. Accept that you are not perfect. Don't let any one particular shortcoming negate that you are a complex, multifaceted desirable package. See the desirable package that you are by taking a picture of yourself with a big smile on your face and post it on your bathroom mirror. Every time you look at your smile think of each of the positive characteristics that define you.

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3. Trust that you are competent. Remind yourself of all the problems you have faced and tackled. Have faith that even if you cannot deal with a problem yourself that you will have the ingenuity to get the help, skills, or knowledge that you need. Doubting your capability? Take on a new challenge and prove to yourself you CAN rather than you can't. Pay attention to each accomplishment regardless of how small and make a mental note or, even better, keep a note pad. Give yourself extra credit when it required significant effort and don't forget to pat yourself on the back.

4. Believe in your own worth. Recognize that means making yourself a priority some of the time. Think of something you want to do and do it. Give yourself permission to say no, ask for what you want, or maneuver into a position to make it happen. Be prepared to tolerate disappointing others for the sake of recognizing that you matter and taking care of yourself.

5. Think back to most recent experience where you felt you fell short, made a mistake, or messed-up and force yourself to name five things that went right. We are not defined by any one thing but by the accumulation of our experiences.


6. Look in a full size mirror and pick five things that you are looking at that make you feel good. You can pick five things you see on the outside such as your physical attributes: eyes, lips, hair, nails, legs, feet, toes, or smile. You can also pick things related to your style such as: your hairdo, clothing, stance, make-up, shoes, or jewelry. In addition, you can pick items that come from the inside such as: your sparkle, spirit, energy, compassion, or kindness. Having trouble? Ask someone that matters to you to name five things you have to feel good about yourself. Try this every day for a week.

Leslie Sokol,Ph.D., a licensed psychologist, is the co-author of Think Confident, Be Confident.

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