Think Confident, Be Confident

Cognitive Therapy techniques for eliminating doubt and achieving lifelong self-esteem.

The "I MATTER" Motto

Put the belief "I MATTER" into action

imageAre you able to say, "I matter"? Try it. If you find yourself barraged with negative thoughts, then it's time to take action to take better care of you. In our fast paced, filled to the brim world we all embody multiple identities and numerous responsibilities. Now couple that with the pressures of stress and daily life tasks, and it's easy to see how we forget to take care of ourselves. That's why it's so important to recognize that you need to make yourself a priority. Here are ten tips to help you put "I matter" into action:

• Create a realistic schedule for yourself. It's difficult to wake up in the morning faced with only what you have to do or need to do. Add in something that you have to look forward to each day. Make sure you create a reasonable obtainable schedule.

• Plan in time to make yourself the #1 priority. Give yourself permission to have "me" time. Ask yourself, "What would I like to do or what would make me feel good?" Plan in pleasant activities on a daily basis. This will help to increase your motivation and improve your mood. This could be anything from sitting quietly for 10 minutes, listening to music, walking in your favorite park, taking a bath, enjoying a cup of tea, or leafing through your favorite magazines.

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• Plan in an activity that gives you a sense of achievement. Try tackling something new that you've thought about doing but were hesitant to try. Replace "I don't have the time" or "I won't be able to do it" with "It's important to schedule in me time to grow and stretch myself" and "I'll try."

• Exercise. Schedule in time to exercise several times a week. Not only is it good for the head, but it's healthy for the body. It's also something that you can directly do for you.

• Be your own cheerleader. Try talking to yourself the same way you would to a family member or friend. Remember to be as objective and kind to yourself as you are to others.

• Don't wait for others to just somehow know or be aware that you need/deserve a break. Plan in downtime for yourself rather than waiting for someone to offer to take over or help out. Everyone is entitled downtime each and every day. This will also cut down on anger and frustration with others.

• Don't be afraid to delegate or ask for help. This shows that you are a good manager of your time. It shows that you want to be part of a team and not take care of everything on your own.

• Set realistic goals. It's good to set goals for yourself at home and at work as long as you break them down into smaller pieces that you can give yourself credit for along the way. If you think of your overall goal as getting to the top of the ladder, then you can give yourself credit for each rung you climb to.

• Keep a daily credit list. Try writing down at least 5 things that you can give yourself credit for on a daily basis. This will help more clearly see the assets that you bring to the table.

• Don't let doubt get in your way. Recognize that you are your greatest resource. By knowing you matter, you also build your confidence because you recognize that you are competent and desirable.

Marci Fox, a licensed psychologist and international speaker, is the co-author of Think Confident, Be Confident. more...

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