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Think Confident, Be Confident

Cognitive Therapy techniques for eliminating doubt and achieving lifelong self-esteem.

by Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.

Marci Fox, a licensed psychologist, is the co-author of Think Confident, Be Confident. See full bio

July 1, 2009, Resilience

Comments on "The Key to Confidence"

The Key to Confidence

By Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D. on July 1, 2009 in Think Confident, Be Confident

Confidence is our greatest personal resource. With it, we can face any situation knowing we can handle it. Without it, we are destined to suffer. Without confidence any situation has the potential to be a threat. Think about having to do anything from the smallest task to the most complex job without confidence. You question your ability and stress constantly. Fearing you will not be able to handle it, you may actually sabotage your ability to get it done. Instead of facing the task, you retreat, avoid, or procrastinate. Maybe you confront the task, but without believing in yourself you over-think it, over-do-it, or tremble through the process all the while doubting yourself. Read More

Begs the Question

Submitted by Anonymous on July 1, 2009 - 7:47am.

This article begs the question: how does one achieve confidence in one's competence and desirability, esp if handicapped by "lousy genes"?
E.g., not all folks are equally attractive/desirable... some are lucky to be beautiful, slim, perfect smile, etc..
Others are born much less ideally..

You are absolutely right. No

Submitted by Leslie Sokol on July 1, 2009 - 8:08am.

You are absolutely right. No two people are alike. The key is we all have the ingrediants to be desirable and competent regardless of our short-comings. The answer lies in seeing your assets, accepting your minuses, and working on enhancing those minuses that can be altered. It is interesting that your mention being born. Have you ever met a baby of any species, let alone shape,size, or features that isn't appealing! Consider looking at adults through that same lens.

RE: begs the question

Submitted by Mark Seydel on August 19, 2009 - 7:51pm.

Begs,

I find it interesting that you name all things that have to do with physical attractiveness. Surely you are more than that. We are all "packages".

How does one achieve confidence if handicapped or when cursed with "lousy genes"? I know, personally, that it takes some work. I'm assuming that you don't think the author of the article expected you to gain self confidence by reading a blog post.

Some famous people with disabilities. People who obviously possess(ed) some level of good confidence: John Nash, Stephen Hawking, Abraham Lincoln, Ludwig Van Beethoven and the list goes on.

Thank you very, very much

Submitted by Anonymous on July 2, 2009 - 1:07am.

for your article, your research. Since 1989 I am now the target of daily workplace mobbing. You encourage me to not create a depression.

I totally agree with "Begs

Submitted by Anonymous on July 7, 2009 - 5:20am.

I totally agree with "Begs the Question." It's all true, what you say about lack of self-confidence and its effects, but one doesn't just say, "Oh, yeah, you're right. I will start being self-confident now." Especially those who grew up without healthy emotional support and confidence-building experiences and people. This is really very difficult stuff. Not only do many people lack the background necessary to develop new self-confidence without a lot of help and persistence, but the more common response to an article like this may be a sense of even further failure and hopelessness. I hope you intended to follow up this article with a more helpful one.