Think Confident, Be Confident

Cognitive Therapy techniques for eliminating doubt and achieving lifelong self-esteem.

The Key to Confidence

What is the Key to Confidence?


Confidence is our greatest personal resource. With it, we can face any situation knowing we can handle it. Without it, we are destined to suffer. Without confidence any situation has the potential to be a threat. Think about having to do anything from the smallest task to the most complex job without confidence. You question your ability and stress constantly. Fearing you will not be able to handle it, you may actually sabotage your ability to get it done. Instead of facing the task, you retreat, avoid, or procrastinate. Maybe you confront the task, but without believing in yourself you over-think it, over-do-it, or tremble through the process all the while doubting yourself.

Without confidence, your social life also has a poor prognosis. Imagine walking into any social situation without confidence. You question your desirability and shrink into the background or stand silently in the group. This guarantees social isolation and reinforces you with more information to doubt yourself. You also second guess all those reactions from others, like missed invitations, phone-calls, e-mails, and conclude no one likes you or wants to include you. Once again, lacking confidence, suffering appears.

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Confidence is essential to making it in life. It enables us to reach for our goals, try new things, and stand independently. It protects us from stress and equips us to face life's challenges. Confidence comes from believing in yourself. It comes from recognizing that you are your greatest resource!

Believing means you unconditionally accept that you are both capable and desirable. Acknowledging you are capable means you are good enough, competent, and able to handle life's situations. Admitting you are capable also means knowing that if you cannot handle a situation completely on your own; you know or can find out where to get the necessary help, information, or skill. Acknowledging you are desirable means you understand you are an attractive, likable, decent person. It means you accept this regardless of anyone's contrary opinion.

Knowing you are your greatest resource protects you from stress. Believing you are capable and desirable, you are now free to face life's stresses calm and confident. It means whatever the task, no matter how overwhelming, large or small, you will handle it and whatever the social situation, no matter how positive, negative or neutral, you will know nothing can negate that you are a desirable person. Now believing in you, you can face life with complete assurance. That is the self-confidence we seek to achieve.

Marci Fox, a licensed psychologist and international speaker, is the co-author of Think Confident, Be Confident. more...

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