Think Confident, Be Confident

Cognitive Therapy techniques for eliminating doubt and achieving lifelong self-esteem.

by Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.

November 23, 2009

Don't Let Anyone Ruin Your Night

By Leslie Sokol, Ph.D. and Marci Fox, Ph.D.

Do you ever say to yourself or hear others say, "He made me feel bad or he ruined my night"? If the answer is yes, then you are suffering needlessly from letting others dictate how you think, feel, and behave. The key is to take control of these areas and the best way to do that is to put yourself in charge of thinking about your thinking. You need to start saying to yourself "What specifically is going through my mind right at this moment?" The catch is to pay attention to when your mood starts to take a downward turn in the direction of sadness, anxiety, fear, frustration, or irritability. If you tend to be the type of person who is more aware of your body responses, then you can also try paying attention to your thoughts rather than directly to your body cues. This is based on one of the main cognitive therapy principles, which is: your interpretation of situations directly impacts how you feel, your body responses, and the action you take. Read More

November 4, 2009

The "I MATTER" Motto

By Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.

Are you able to say, "I matter"? Try it. If you find yourself barraged with negative thoughts, then it's time to take action to take better care of you. In our fast paced, filled to the brim world we all embody multiple identities and numerous responsibilities. Now couple that with the pressures of stress and daily life tasks, and it's easy to see how we forget to take care of ourselves. That's why it's so important to recognize that you need to make yourself a priority. Here are ten tips to help you put "I matter" into action: Read More

October 18, 2009

Getting in Shape in Five Painless Steps

By Leslie Sokol, Ph.D. and Marci Fox, Ph.D.

You want to get in shape but your buts, oh wells, maybe tomorrows and permission-giving avoidance thoughts keep getting in the way. You truly believe you want to walk a healthier path, but your body just isn't cooperating. The good news is: one, you are not alone and two, you can get your brain on board and get your body to cooperate. Follow the five steps below and you will be on your way.

October 8, 2009

To Be or Not To Be Confident in Your Older Adolescent

By Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.

Older teenagers can be a significant source of stress in many parents' lives. Some of this stress is warranted but a majority of this distress is self-imposed. Valid stress is when your child is behaving in ways that put him in danger or in harm's way. Realistic concern for your child in this situation is justified and appropriate action on your part is needed. But, much of our stress as parents comes from our own doubt. Doubt that our children are able to be responsible for themselves and what they need to take care of on a daily basis when in fact data exists that says that they are responsible. Acknowledging your older child's ability to make good decisions, follow through with tasks, and manage their time grows your confidence in them as well as their confidence in themselves. Read More

September 25, 2009

Seven Simple Strategies to Effectively Attracting Others

By Leslie Sokol, Ph.D. and Marci Fox, Ph.D.

The secret to attracting others is self-confidence and it starts by believing in you. Whether you are looking for romance or friendship doubt can divert you away from your goals. Doubt unfairly tells you negative messages that are untrue. Doubt yells, "People won't like you, rejection is inevitable, you have nothing valuable to offer, or basically you just don't have it." Instead of listening to the bogus voice of doubt, turn your attention to the facts. Read More

September 2, 2009

Don't Be Afraid to Ask for Help

By Leslie Sokol, Ph.D. and Marci Fox, Ph.D.

An elderly woman unfamiliar with Starbucks and her moderately mentally impaired son wait in line at Starbucks. The son starts barreling his mother with questions. Both are overwhelmed with the abundance of choices and appear baffled. The coffee barrista is inundated making drinks and the cashier can barely keep up with the traffic. Read More

August 17, 2009

When to Stop, Yield, or Go in Friendship

By Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.

Confidence can come from all the different areas of your life, friendship included. That's why it's so important to routinely take an inventory of your friendships to make sure that each one is a healthy part of your life. So imagine yourself being at a traffic light. Read More

July 30, 2009

Is Too Much Enthusiasm A Bad Thing?

By Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.

Imagine having faced a situation that elicited an abundance of enthusiasm. Being single for a long time and finally meeting someone who you could imagine spending every second with. Imagine finding a job that is everything you have been looking for plus a big paycheck. You are excited and want to jump into these situations without any brakes. Is that a good idea? The answer is yes! Read More

July 13, 2009

Don't Let Self-Doubt Get In Your Way

By Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.

Self-doubt can cause you to get in your own way. Doubt can lead you to get defensive, take command of the conversation rather than making it reciprocal, or cause you to appear overly confident through over self-promotion as you start listing out all the wonderful things that you have been up to. Doubt can also steer you to make an excuse to leave or slowly shrink to the sides of the room. In addition, doubt can lead you to freeze up right in the conversation as you get bogged down with the running commentary of negative thoughts, second-guessing, and self-criticism. Read More

July 1, 2009

The Key to Confidence

By Marci Fox, Ph.D. and Leslie Sokol, Ph.D.

Confidence is our greatest personal resource. With it, we can face any situation knowing we can handle it. Without it, we are destined to suffer. Without confidence any situation has the potential to be a threat. Think about having to do anything from the smallest task to the most complex job without confidence. You question your ability and stress constantly. Fearing you will not be able to handle it, you may actually sabotage your ability to get it done. Instead of facing the task, you retreat, avoid, or procrastinate. Maybe you confront the task, but without believing in yourself you over-think it, over-do-it, or tremble through the process all the while doubting yourself. Read More

Books by Leslie Sokol, Ph.D. and Marci Fox, Ph.D.

Think Confident, Be Confident: A Four-Step Program to Eliminate Doubt and Achieve LifelongSelf-Esteem

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