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Learning to eat better, and less, presents all kinds of challenges. One challenge that’s too often overlooked, though, involves the comments and reactions of others. People who succeed in changing their habits and losing weight have, whether consciously or not, learned how to avoid, redirect, ignore, or simply not take so seriously a host of possible unhelpful comments. Many of these comments, maybe most, intend to help and support. However, they often unwittingly make the whole weight loss project harder.
Recently, Prevention.com featured “How to Support Someone’s Weight Loss Efforts”. They list “6 things never to say to someone trying to lose weight”. The list, and the reasons for each item’s inclusion, may surprise you if you haven’t struggled too much with your weight. If you have, though, you may well understand what’s hard about these comments:
You look great.
Let me tell you about this diet that worked for me.
Just don't eat so much.
One bite won't hurt.
I made this just for you.
Are you sure you can eat that? I thought you were on a diet!
As a friend or loved one, it’s important to understand what kinds of comments help and hurt. Often, the less said, the better. And when in doubt, a frank conversation about what’s helpful and not can make the whole process better for everyone.
If you’re the person setting out to make the changes—ie the dieter--anticipating unhelpful comments can help you think about how best to respond. You might consider telling people you’d rather not hear the comments, even if they’re meant to help. (Read more about “assertive dieting techniques” here.) You might get good at subject-changing, or simply thinking to yourself “they just don’t understand, I’m not going to take it personally”. There’s not necessarily a right or wrong strategy. What’s matters is that you’re not blindsided by your emotional reactions to others’ comments. Thinking ahead, and picturing how best to respond, is preventative medicine.
In the end, most of us living in today’s confusing food culture—with thousands of diet messages beamed alongside unhealthy and tempting foods—give us all some degree of worry. It serves us all to find ways to communicate and support each other’s efforts in good self-care.
For more on speaking up, visit the eatsanely.com blog archives
