The White Knight Syndrome

Rescuing Yourself From Your Need to Rescue Others

by Mary Lamia and Marilyn Krieger

November 9, 2009

The Rescued: Rapacious Partners

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

The covertly predatory style of rapacious partners may lead you to believe that you have found paradise in their arms, but sooner or later you feel like a victim. Read More

October 21, 2009

The Rescued (Part 2 of 4)

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

Our previous blog reviewed two subtypes from the Helpless Rescued category the Depressed and the Dependent, and how and why white knights find them attractive. This blog describes the other two subtypes of the Helpless Rescued. Our upcoming blogs will explore the second category of rescued partners, the Rapacious Rescued. Read More

September 20, 2009

The Rescued

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

Who attracts a white knight? Rescued partners are as varied as the white knights who rescue them. We found that rescued partners could be grouped according to common traits and characteristics that could be separated into two primary categories. The first category, the helpless rescued, are those who appear passive, needy, and weak. Read More

August 24, 2009

Temporary White Knights

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

Excitement, danger, and addictive distraction are often found in a temporary rescuing relationship. Read More

August 1, 2009

The Balanced Rescuer

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

The balanced rescuer is sensitive to the needs of those around her and practices altruism for its own sake. She gives support freely and is often well-respected by others. Having found a partner who carries his own weight, the balanced rescuer anticipates reciprocity in her relationships and she and her partner support each other through the good times and bad. Read More

July 13, 2009

The Terrorizing/Terrified White Knight

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

The terrorizing/terrified white knight is the subtype most likely to have experienced overwhelming fear and shame as a child. Read More

June 22, 2009

The Tarnished White Knight

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

The tarnished white knight wants to be loved and appreciated. He seeks to compensate for, and repair, the ineffectual sense of self that he developed in childhood. Read More

June 9, 2009

The Overly Empathic White Knight

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

Rescuer Subtypes: The Overly Empathic White Knight

After reviewing the commonalities and differences among rescuers, we created four subtypes - the overly empathic white knight, the tarnished white knight, the terrorizing/terrified white knight, and the balanced rescuer. These subtypes are not discrete entities but represent our observation of clusters of characteristics that can overlap. In this blog, we will focus on the overly empathic white knight.

May 20, 2009

White Knight Commonalities

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

What are the common characteristics and behaviors of a "White Knight"? Read More

May 5, 2009

Rescuing Yourself from Your Need to Rescue Others

By Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D. and Marilyn Krieger, Ph.D.

Are you a "White Knight?"

Are you attracted to needy, damaged, or helpless people?

Do you feel like your love can heal your partner?

Are you overly involved in your partner's problems?

Are you hungry for constant reassurance in relationships?

Do you make excuses for your partner?

Do you try to "save" people from themselves? Read More

Books by Marilyn J. Krieger, Ph.D. and Mary C. Lamia, Ph.D.

The White Knight Syndrome: Rescuing Yourself from Your Need to Rescue Others

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Love is the most profound emotion known to human beings. For most people, romantic relationships are the most meaningful element in their lives. But the ability to have a healthy, loving relationship is not innate. Almost all of us have experienced a failed relationship, and most of us have to work consciously to master the skills necessary to make them flourish.

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