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I once interviewed a victim of domestic violence who began volunteering at her school in order to protect her children from their father. She was worried he might try to kidnap them by picking them up at school. So, her initial motivation was a caring one—she was thinking about protecting her children—but what happened is that in the process of caring for her children she discovered a talent she did not know she had. She loved being in the school and thrived as a volunteer. Out of the hundreds of volunteers that work in that school system, she was selected as Volunteer of the Year. That experience, probably more than anything else, helped her re-define herself and create a new life after being victimized.
There are often elements of volunteering or peer counselling in many programs and we under-estimate how important those are. Tim Wilson in his book Redirect! tells the story of a successful program for at-risk youth. Of course, the success of the program led to others wanting to adopt it as well. Several communities adopted the program, but not a single one included the volunteer requirement. Unfortunately, when that piece disappeared so did the positive impact. More recently, the Shifting Boundaries study, by Bruce Taylor and Nan Stein, found similar results. Their traditional classroom-based bullying prevention program was not any better than the control group who received nothing. However, the "building-level" program that included social marketing and youth getting involved in identifying danger "hotspots" in schools helped reduce peer violence.
What all of these efforts have in common is that the traditional therapeutic or educational approaches were not what turned out to be the most helpful. I know that crisis counseling or getting up in a classroom lectures and discussions "seem" like the effective part of an intervention, but the evidence suggests that perception is wrong.
There are many problems with classroom programs that are designed to make students better citizens. Probably the most important is that too many of them talk about being a better citizen without giving students a chance to be better citizens. These programs are often top-down and they are often based on ideas of skills and attitude deficits that are mistaken. Does anyone really think that there are a lot of 13-year-olds out there who do not understand that "Drop dead I wish you would die" is something that the adults in their lives think is wrong to say? Telling middle-school students to be respectful or practice the Golden Rule is focusing in the wrong place.
The Good News about Fostering Strong Communities
Whether you want to raise youth who are committed to human rights, you want to decrease violence or other social problems, or you are focused on helping individuals thrive and achieve well-being, the great news is that the same things work for all of these. They are simple steps that work on all of these goals at once.
Volunteering
It is truly wondrous and under-appreciated that one of the best things you can do for your community is also one of the best things you can do for yourself. Feeling depressed? Lonely? Alienated? Go help someone else. Yes, that first step is hard but it is no harder and probably for many even easier than seeking therapy or admitting to your physician that you are depressed.
How does this help? My colleagues and I have identified 3 key domains for well-being: regulatory strengths, meaning making strengths, and interpersonal strengths. These are the 3 elements of strong Resilience Portfolios. Volunteering helps with all three—it adds some additional routine and rhythm to your life, it helps you identify with something bigger than yourself and perhaps recognize that your struggles are similar—or maybe even more minor—than those many others face, and it allows you to build new relationships and work on relationship skills.
Even better, it has almost identical effects on others too. It helps promote human rights because it increases appreciation for our shared humanity.
Values narratives
Another way that you can solidify your sense of your own values and your commitment to those values is to write them down. Research shows that this does not have to be anything involved or fancy. The point is not to excessive navel-gazing. Even just one time sitting down and reflecting on your most important values can make a difference. Two or three sessions is probably the sweet spot. It is especially helpful to reflect on how key events in your lives—turning points—helped you develop the values you hold today. Were you inspired by a parent? A teacher? Is your story one of post-traumatic growth?
You can visit lifepathsresearch.org to learn more about Resilience Portfolios and values narratives and see how one program, the Laws of Life, approaches value development.
Many of the great human rights leaders of the last 100 years, including the Dalai Lama, Gandhi, Desmond Tutu, and Martin Luther King, Jr., were also spiritual leaders. The importance of spirituality and meaning making is an underappreciated one in much of psychology, even including the study of activism and human rights. Mindfulness is a common thread across many spiritual belief systems that can also be used in a less explicitly religious way, for those who are so inclined. Mindfulness increases compassion, emotional awareness, and emotional regulation—all important components of working toward better communities and less discrimination against others.
No person is an island, as John Donne observed almost 400 years ago. Psychology is finally catching up to the poet's insight that we ourselves our enriched by what we give to others. Remember that when you help others or advocate for equal treatment for all, you are helping yourself and your community.
© Copyright Sherry Hamby 2015. Learn more about Dr. Hamby's work at http://thevigor.org and http://lifepathsresearch.org or follow her on Twitter at @Sherry_Hamby.
This study was made possible through the support of a grant from the John Templeton Foundation. The opinions expressed in this publication are those of the authors and do not necessarily reflect the views of the John Templeton Foundation.
