All the talk of late on whether Modern Feminism is a good or bad thing makes me wonder why we've never heard of a "Masculinist," or "Masculinism," by analogy.
Ever think of that? Ridiculous, right?
It's actually no wonder. Men are hard-wired evolutionarily not to complain, whine, or moan about their rights being denied, or their masculine identity ignored. For the male of the species to do so didn't serve the survival of the race eons ago. Back then, daily life was likely more of a life-and-death, kill-or-be-killed existence that demanded a singular male focus on the sustenance of the tribe, not hurt feelings or fragile egos.
This masculine gender instinct survives today.
None of this is to say that men don't actually have needs, or don't suffer in silence for lack of love, career fulfillment, or friends, that they do not have a desire for a unique voice in society, or a recognition that yes - they think, feel, and act differently from women.
They ARE different. Accept it.
Men aren't even the majority of the world's population. Technically, they are a "minority," at a ratio of 100:106. They are hard-wired not to complain. It makes them look weak and feel weak.
Often they get to see media in which the "token man" in a sitcom is a bumbling idiot - a Homer Simpson or Al Bundy - but are hard-wired not to complain. It makes them look weak and feel weak.
In our culture, other than in the likes of The Daily Show and Real Time with Bill Maher, men also get to see a host of talk-shows, news/opinion shows, and usually harmless dramatic comedies like Sex and the City, where they are nevertheless, frequently labeled derogatory terms such as "commitment-phobes," or as the counterpoint to Feminists - assumed by gender and therefore, by inherent nature - to be "Anti-feminist" at best, or at worst, "profiled" as "chauvinist," rather than "just men." Again, they are hard-wired not to complain. It makes them look weak and feel weak.
Tired of dating "Commitment-phobes?" If I were to tell you there is no such thing - that this term is a myth, it might very well seem politically incorrect.
It gets worse than this illusion. There are literally millions of actual men out there training to be real (not imaginary) "pickup artists." There's no more politically incorrect issue between the genders than the legitimacy of a roving band of men who want to seduce, sleep with, or take advantage of women.
Oversensitivity to the politically incorrect, and the battle between the genders in general, likely occur not because men are more right or women are "more right" about what is socially appropriate, natural and normal, but because men and women are simultaneously both "equal," AND "different" at the same time.
Men and women are equal in the capacity to love and form friendships, to intelligently pursue career ambitions, education, artistic expression, and leadership roles of course.
Yet they are decidedly different in the unconscious gender instincts which drive their attention and interest, their automatic, reflex social and sexual behaviors.
Clearly. Just note that the Nielsen Ratings, health statistics, and any common sociological studies cite men and women in different categories of note. If we weren't different in behavior after all, there would be just one category - "People" - and other than Harvard's Men's Center, a vast array of institutions would have to be renamed, "People's Hospital," "People's College," and the "People's Studies" section of the library.
The Pickup Artists
Perhaps you are a woman, and have been at some time, approached by a man wearing unusual clothing and jewelry - one who talks rapidly, tries to make physical contact with you after telling a charming story, and then says something that leaves you wondering whether you have just been complimented or insulted.
The person you've just met is a graduate of "pickup artist training."
Enter a group of internet marketers who have essentially taken over a giant swath of public health and become practitioners of a de facto, worldwide mental health service industry to men - the online men's dating "educators" and "pickup artist gurus."
Like the real estate agencies cropping up in the 1990's, the entrepreneurial barriers to entry in starting a business - of training men how to meet women - are minimal. No clinical training or higher education is required, one only has to be, generally, a single man who has been on a few great dates, and recorded some inspiring success stories to tell other men.
Some marketers are actually making upwards of 10-20 million dollars a year training millions of men - more than are current patients in any individual tradition of mainstream therapy. Meanwhile psychologists, social workers, nurses, therapists and psychiatrists labor away, one on one in their offices - most commonly administering gender-neutral treatments and advice.
When the media traditionally has become involved in such evergreen topics as dating and relationships, it has been very feminine-sensible coverage. Which is why men - whose two prime personal growth concerns tend to be skill with women and work - are flocking to internet marketers in droves, rather than therapists as the traditional experts.
Perhaps, in part, this has been due to the fact that advertisers must be satisfied, advertisers sell products, and women are the consumers of western society. Males may still buy condoms, Axe Deodorant Body Spray, and a few products at Best Buy, but women buy nearly everything else for America's households.
Again, men do not complain about being diminished or ignored in having unique health and psychological needs. Doing so diminishes their masculinity, depicts them as "weak" to other men. This is not a "fragile ego" situation, but an evolved instinct that served ancient tribesmen well in a singular focus on killing animals in male teams, and killing rival tribesmen in male teams.
It seems the masculine team spirit still exists, and a new public health inroad with both a blessing and a curse attached has arrived in the form of internet pickup artist trainers.
It's well known that men are notorious for not reporting the presence of depressive symptoms, perhaps even shunning mental health care in general. Internet "education" and the convenient anonymous identities called "avatars" or "handles" common in public forums have finally allowed men to retain their felt sense of masculinity, but ALSO seek mental health help - currently, and most voraciously in the area of sex, women, and dating.
With the escalation of divorce and absent fathers in young men's lives, and such recent studies as those showing that boys fare better after a divorce in the care of fathers, not mothers solely - and no textbooks, school classes, teachers, professors, or until the past decade, any accessible source of education and training in the area of dating and relationships for men and only men - all that was left for the male public to seek out was a rag-tag gang of clinically untrained, un-formally-educated, internet marketing expert pickup artists to become the de facto fathers, and mental health professionals to millions of western single men.
That's right. Millions, right under your nose, in your neighborhoods, in their houses, at their computers. One such entrepreneur alone has a client list of over 2 million men who religiously follow his teachings.
Others have even gone so far as to branch into experiential learning: a k a, taking men out on the town to train them how to pick up women.
Like it or not, there is also an upside, even though mainstream therapists are far from embracing the new "men's movement," or men's dating education, attractiveness training, and romantic success with women as more than just afterthoughts, but rather pillars of male-specific mental health.
Look at the fallout: "48 year old man mass murders female aerobics dance class. Cited gripe against the world? No success in romance with women in thirty years."
