The Time Cure

New approaches to overcoming PTSD, depression, and anxiety

True Remorse

Unless you are a psychopath, you have probably suffered from feelings of remorse at one time or another. As journalist and author Mignon McLaughlin stated, “True remorse is never just regret over consequence; it is regret over motive.” We feel remorse when we've done something that takes calculated forethought and we know it isn't right. Read More

I Agree!

I agree that true remorse is always for the wrong or hurtful motive, not for the consequence. Even I have been learning the same from:
http://www.dadabhagwan.org/scientific-solutions/relationship/pratikraman...

We often forget to examine

We often forget to examine the impacts of our actions, on others and on ourselves. Remorse can be an opening, an important one, to see that, in our hurt and out of fear of being unable to manage overwhelming emotions, we compensate by strategies and actions we are mostly unaware of that can hurt others, and, because we are so interconnected, in turn hurt us.

Dear Aarron,

Thank you for your comment and the website link.
Wishing you all the best,
Rose Sword

Spilled MIlk or broken eggs!

What you say is true one can not change the past but that fact does little to relieve the crazy intense guilt of causing the death of a loved one simply by using poor judgement.I made some very well thought changes to my disabled son's life and care which directly lead to his death... in my arms at 18 I literally felt his life force drain away from him. The doctor;s could not even give a medical reason for his death, " sometimes we just do not know why a person dies" does little to explain life's dirty tricks. The hard part for me is not the intellectual calm reasoning that says you are human and simply did the best you could......it is the deep emotional feeling that I should have known. Fixing that deep ache is the long road for me. But I am still here.

We often forget to examine

Thank you, Joseph. Well put and incredibly insightful.

Aloha,
Rose

Dear Richard,

I am so sorry about your loss and the intense grief - and remorse -you have experienced. I wish I could absolve you of feeling that you should have known...but none of us really do.

I have had a personal experience in the recent past that, had I known what I know now and insisted on a person I care for very deeply see a specialist, would have changed his - and our - lives. In the not too distant future, the decisions we make today will be revealed as "good" or "bad". Until then, we can sit on pins and needles - or quiet our minds and find solace in the love we feel for each other, our family and friends.

Let's keep hanging in there, Richard.

Fond aloha,
Rose

Good article, but I must say

Good article, but I must say I'm distracted by one thing...and this is definitely off track except when you talk about the office worker who stole from her employer. I'm a stock photographer, and I see that most of the images in your article are "stolen". It is not ok to use a picture from a stock site that you have not paid for. The watermark is still on the pictures, which tells me you have taken these pictures without permission. Please remedy this asap. These photographers work hard for their money. :-/

Good article, but...Response

Dear Anonymous,

Thank you so much for bringing this to my attention. I only use images from sites that say they are "free" images, "free" stock photos or "free" jpegs. Otherwise I would not be able to copy and use them. But I wondered about the watermarks! So these photos aren't "free" after all...

I, along with the other blog column writers, contribute articles either for gratis or very, very little compensation ($4 for 1000 reads.) Although I cannot speak for others, I write because folks ask me to write about a particular theme and I want to help them. It takes many hours, sometimes days or weeks, for me to write a column - all the while knowing that I will likely not be paid anything. But compensation is not my motivation and it has never been my intention to capitalize on someone else's work. I truly thought that the photos were free as advertised. In the future I will carefully check before using any photos. This being said, in upcoming columns you may be seeing fewer photos, and less professional looking ones as well!

Once again, thank you very much for bringing this to my attention and special thanks to all the photographers whose photos have been used in my columns; especially to you, Anonymous.

Fond aloha,
Rose

Thank you Rose. If these are

Thank you Rose. If these are indeed free photos, then you need to download them, not just right click and copy. Then you won't see the watermark. :)

Have a great day!

Thank you Rose...

Dear Anonymous,

Oh! Duh! Will download photos first and see if the watermark appears. If so, I won't use them. Thanks for the enlightenment!

Fond aloha,
Rose

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Rosemary K.M. Sword and Philip Zimbardo are authors, along with Richard M. Sword, of The Time Cure: Overcoming PTSD with the New Psychology of Time Perspective Therapy.

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