This is just another way of saying that in a successful marriage each partner must respect the other and this can't happen unless each partner is self-respecting. That having been said, I think that in each marriage there is always one partner who has the last word on the decisions that are made. Yes, you discuss and confer, but ultimately one partner usually gets his or her way.

Wendy Aron, author of Hide & Seek: How I Laughed at Depression, Conquered My Fears and Found Happiness
http://www.wendyaron.com

Well thats all good and so on. Everybody talks abou how important self-esteem, -respect, -love is but how does one aquire such things? How does one get powerful and confident?

I am practicing for years now and the only thing that works sometimes is acting. Which means I can appear confident to some people but I feel fear and sometimes anxiety a lot but I still do it nearly every time.

What if I like a weak women? What if I am stressed with a strong woman who keeps me on my toes all the time? How do I get "stronger"?

I am challenging myself a lot but it seems fear and insecurity never go completely away. I hate that especially when the self-help community promotes power, confidence all the time...

We are human and can expect periods of weakness in our lives no mattr how strong we want to be. We can also expect our spouse to be our strength during these times when we are lacking, not to be abandoned, and attacked when we are down. When a woman survives the tough times alone, why would she want this strong/weak man. A strong person is one who is there in good and bad times.

I believe that men subconsciously see the powerful women more sexy.I do not know why,maybe the likes adore each other.

Fear is the killer in relationships. It squeezes the 'egg' if you will. A relationship is fragile like and egg if you poke at it on the weak spots, you will make a crack, but as a whole a relationship can withstand tremendous pressure if it is distributed evenly. You cannot break and egg if you place it in the palm of your hand and wrap your fingers around it and squeeze. You just cannot do it! A marriage is the same. If the pressure is managed from the inside out as a team, the shell is indestructible. However if you imbalance the forces with fear and doubt, the shell crushes and you have a mess.

The moral is, if you have fears about your partner's behavior, commitment or values, your egg is doomed. Find a way to resolve your fears and trust your shellmate...

I think the mix-up here lies within your definitions of the terms "strong," and also "doormat." What is a "doormat?" Is this synonymous with weak, manipulative, passive-aggressive, and whiny? I suppose this often-used term also means something like a man arriving home from work, figuratively stepping on and past his wife (as if she were a real mat at the door) to go on with his evening, and she allows this. Yes? Hmm. Okay.
And "strong" means equal to her husband and very competent, and will not allow disrespect-(when applied to a woman, this definition) -is this correct in your article? (By the way, why did the gals you dated even have the opportunity to allow you to treat them like a doormat? Were you guilty of not treating them well? Do you need someone to keep your behavior in check? Seriously, I respectfully apologize for sounding rude, I truly do, but really that is a fair question, don't you think?)
Anyway, have you forgotten at least an entire category? I think this is a false dichotomy, this article. You have grouped goodness, equality in marriage, desirability as a sexual partner, desirability as a marriage partner, and strength in both sexes-in one box. In another box you have grouped submissive women; "submissive" passive-aggressive-covertly-controlling women; needy, whiny, controlling (remember, control is not equality, it seeks to dominate) women; unsexy women; weak women; undesirable women for "strong" men; "doormats"; and "compliant, passive and meek" women. You have left not a space for: strong, happy, self-respecting, submissive-to-their-husband wives. Wives who respect their husband so much they CHOOSE to submit to him as the leader of the home. And what about strong, normal, kind, human husbands who respect their wife and simultaneously stay in charge, all the while treating her well. (Amazing!) She has not much need to defend herself from an oppressive man. If he hurts her, she tells him, and they fix it. Pretty simple. You see, you forgot this category. Yes, yes, it does exist. Not just in my (21 year) marriage, there are others too! Now nothing against your marriage, if it works for you, great. Seriously. But for anyone reading this article, I thought it fair and responsible that the forgotten category that I am familiar with be included.