Dear Dr. G.,
This is my very first time asking someone online about an inner conflict I just can’t rap my head around. I’ve read some of your articles trying to find one relating to my problem in order to find answers but I haven’t found one that really fits me.
I’m currently in a very happy relationship that makes me feel complete in many levels. Nonetheless, there’s the bits and pieces of drama that I have to deal with from time to time. I’m dating what used to be my best friend's ex and the minute I told her she stopped talking to me. It’s going to be almost two months of her not speaking to me. I have to admit, it was very hard to not see her and hear from her the first weeks, but now I feel like I’ve just lost someone who didn’t really value a friendship I felt very strong about. To top this off, my other best friend sided with her, U, and now I’ve lost two of my very good girl friends over someone I’m madly in love with. College is around the corner, and I thought that dating the person wouldn’t be such a big deal considering that this sounds a lot like freshmen year of high school drama. I though we were all mature enough to move on with this situation but, apparently both of these girls won’t speak to me again until I break up with my partner. To make matters worse, my boyfriend is still friends with U. It’s very disappointing to see a friend give you their back, yet talk to your partner. In some ways it guess it makes sense since U and my boyfriend have been friends for about 2 years, however, would I be too controlling if I ask my partner to end the friendship they have because of the feeling of betrayal I sense from U? It’s hard not to be hurt when you find friends being fake, and it’s so hard to see my partner speak and hang out with someone who hurt me and still hurts me. I don’t know how to decide what to do. I need guidance from someone with more experience in these issues because I really don’t want to make ugly mistakes and argue with my boyfriend. Even though we’ve dated for a short amount of time, I can see a clear and beautiful future for us and I don’t like things like this getting in the way of good moments. Nevertheless, I can’t help my feelings of anger and disappointment when I see him hanging out with someone who I cared about a lot and gave me their back.