Dear Dr. G.,
I am an 18 year old girl and I am going to college in 3 weeks. My boyfriend of 9 months is going to a different college but I hoped that we were going to continue our relationship. Well,guess what happened yesterday. My boyfriend who we can call Sam dumped me. As if that's not bad enough he dumped me by text. He just wrote " Let's take a break." Believe me, I know what "a break" means. He wants to be free to date and have sex with other girls in college
Ok-I understand that he will be a college freshman and wants to date but why did he break up with me in such a creepy way. Couldn't he have spoken to me in person? Isn't that what a decent human being does after 9 months of dating?
I have been asking my now ex to meet with me so that we can talk about the break-up but he is refusing to talk in person. He said that there is nothing to talk about. Did he ever have feelings for me? I feel so hurt and stupid. Dr. G. please help explain this situation to me. I like to understand what I can't change. By the way I want to be a psychologist.
A Baffled 18 Year Old
Dear Future Psychologist,
I am so sorry about this break-up. I am even sorrier that Sam broke up with you in such an impersonal manner. I must reassure you that his style of breaking up with you via text (UGH) is not necessarily related to his feelings about you during the relationship. Do NOT call yourself a fool. Please do not go there. That is counter-productive and will only lead you down a path of low self-esteem and more disappointment. You certainly do not need to be mired in bad feelings during this exciting time of your life.