Dear Dr. G.,
Hi there. I am a 16-year-old high school junior with problems. It was my mother who referred me to you. This is what is going on. I have dated three boys during the past year and each time one of my closest friends developed an interest in all of these boys. At least that is how it looked to me. And, right after I broke up with one of them this same friend started dating him.
These boys that I date aren't even popular types. They are the nerdy types that I like. So why, after I start dating them do they suddenly become interesting to my friend? Before I dated each of them she never showed any interest in any of them.
This is really bothering me. I feel special when a boy likes me and dates me. Why does my friend have to like my boyfriends? Shouldn't she be finding her own boyfriends?
What do you think Dr.G.? My mother said that you'd be able to explain things.
A Confused Teen Girl
Ah… you are experiencing a common occurrence. When you start dating someone, that person's social desirability suddenly increases. This has been going on for centuries. A quiet and relatively unknown person begins to date a desirable person and, voila! others want to date him too. My guess is that you are well-liked and when you pick someone to date other girls take a look at him and start finding him interesting.