Dear Dr. G.,
I am totally embarrassed about what I am experiencing. I feel like a jealous teenager. I got remarried 4 months ago. I have an 11 year old son from my first marriage and my new husband has a 15 year old daughter from his former marriage.
Well, here is what's happening. Whenever my stepdaughter refers to things that she and her parents did together as a family in the past I feel left out and sort of like a second class citizen. When my husband drops his daughter off at her mother's house, I imagine that he and his ex-wife are laughing and reminiscing. The sickest part of all is that sometimes when the daughter is over I start thinking about my husband and his ex being intimate. I know that this is crazy. I also like my stepdaughter and hate that this problem happens when she's around. I guess she reminds me that they were once intimate.
I don't know what to do. I do NOT want to ruin this marriage. Please help.
A Crazy Wife and Mother
First, keep in mind that it will take some time for everyone to adjust to the new and complicated family dynamics. Remember that if your husband and his ex got along swimmingly then they would still be married to each other.