Getting the Reminiscing Party Started

Last week, I wrote about researchers at Saint Xavier University School of Nursing in Chicago who have tapped into the importance of sharing family memories and engaging an older patient in telling his or her story.

Through their innovative research, Peg Gallagher, EdD, RN CNE, an associate professor at St. Xavier, along with her colleague, sociology professor Kate Carey, PhD, have found that simply by listening to the stories and life experiences of elderly patients, nursing students who had limited experience dealing with seniors can overcome their initial fears of caring for these often frail patients faster. Their work was recently lauded by an organization dedicated to improving hospitalization for older patients : NICHE (Nurses Improving Care for Healthsystem Elders).

It's a great idea to bond with elderly patients who are hospitalized and facing significant illness, but why wait until then? With Valentine's Day around the corner, I think there is nothing more romantic then listening to the stories of the ancestors and relatives who came before us.

But how to get started? The researchers inspired me to want to know how to begin this reminiscing. What do you say or do to spark a loved one into spilling his or her captivating story.

Here's a list of their tips.

• Tell me about your childhood (i.e. hometown, parents, siblings, school, etc.).
• Tell me about your family life (spouse, children, jobs/volunteering, holidays, etc.).
• How did (choose an event in history, like WW1, civil rights movement, computer age, etc.)
influence you or your family?
• Be a good listener: listen actively; maintain eye contact; do not interrupt or correct; be patient;
allow adequate time.
• Respond in a positive manner-make comments to encourage the elder to continue.
• Encourage memories from different stages (i.e., what did you do for fun when you were a
teenager? What was the living through the war like for you?).
• Be patient with repetition.
• Use props to prompt recollections (i.e., pictures from the past, memorabilia, music).
• Keep the conversation focused on the person reminiscing, but do share some of your memories on the topic if they relate to topic being discussed.
• Use open-ended questions. (Tell me about your first job. Tell me about your wedding day. What were your favorite foods as a child?).
• In addition, you can use props (pictures, mementos, etc.) or materials like poems or Reminisce Magazine to initiate or facilitate discussion.
• Children need to be prepared for the interview. Using the guidelines above (be patient, listen carefully, etc.) family/ teachers must appropriately prepare the children.
• Starting with more structure is helpful. For example, letting the children use a picture of the upcoming holiday or of their school, will encourage memories for the elder.
• Always be mindful of the child's safety. Elders with Alzheimer's disease or other cognitive impairment can sometimes lash out verbally or physically. If your parent or grandparent is prone to these episodes, it's best not to engage young children in the conversations.