The Squeaky Wheel

How to protect your psychological health, improve your relationships, and enhance your self-esteem.

Surviving Loneliness Over the Holidays

Lonely people dread the holiday season more than any other time of year. Read More

Other ways to connect

Guy,

Great article. Another way to connect is to volunteer at a homeless shelter, a woman's shelter, or a soup kitchen. The people at these shelters usually don't have any where else to go and don't have any to spend the holidays with. Volunteering not only helps with someone feeling lonely, but also helps deepen their connection not only with themselves, but with others in their community that need them. It is quite fulfilling emotionally and mentally.

I am one of these lonely people you described. I feel like that it is okay to be lonely at times, but finding common ground and finding common bonds through community activities during the holidays reminds us what the holidays are really about--helping each other and being the best people we can be and helping our fellow woman and man.

The best advise!

Thank you Guy, I'm going to volunteer in community service this holidays, and you know what is funny, everytime I say that to my friends and co-workers they ask me why and if I have nothing better to do. But I really dont care because I love that idea and for sure I'm going to have fun!

I am someone who will be

I am someone who will be spending the holidays alone this year (not for the first time either). In relation to the post above me, I volunteer for a charity (I'm unemployed), and it doesn't make me feel any better about anything. I have nothing in common with anyone I work beside, not the other volunteers nor the clientele I deal with.

Every Christmas and New Year for me is like torture. Being forced to witness everybody else's fun and happiness. It's all a sick joke.

To generalized there are other kidn of loneliness

I'm a foreigner living alon in the U.S. my family is living in another country wher traditions are different and yes it feels bad to see how people gather with their significant others. It is a mixture beween identity and rejection since I try to have that smile but sometimes is too much. This is my first year on grief since my father died, and for me it is hard. I'm succesfuly being in the place of overcoming all this but I couldnt find the right advise for my situation. Reaching out when your out of place sometimes in difficult. Rather talk to my family by skype and dirnk some hot cocoa wathcing movies. Thank you.

So Practical

Your advice is great b/c it is so practical. When you are lonely and depressed you cannot even think of the right words to say to get yourself out! Something like just asking a few of the people you know "What are you doing for the holidays?" can be the magic words --so simple and so easy- that could get you out of your hole and back to life/living!

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Guy Winch, Ph.D., is a licensed psychologist and author of The Squeaky Wheel: Complaining the Right Way to Get Results, Improve Your Relationships and Enhance Self-Esteem. more...

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