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For years I tried keeping the fact that I do stand-up comedy a secret from my patients...until the night I spotted one of them in the audience.
I've always loved stand-up comedy but I was terrified to try it. The thought of standing on stage and bombing in front of a room full of people was extremely scary. So when I decided to take the plunge I had the same intention as I did when I tried sky-diving (which my fear of heights made equally terrifying). The idea was to do it once, get it on video and never do it again. I was certain it would be as terrifying and exhilarating an experience as skydiving was and one I would feel no urge whatsoever to repeat. But I was wrong. It was terrifying and exhilarating alright, but unlike skydiving, I couldn't wait to do it again.
Separation of Couch and Stage
I decided the only way I could proceed was to create a clear divide between stand-up and therapy. I would never discuss being a psychologist in front of an audience and I would never discuss doing stand-up with my patients. Instead, much of the humor I discussed on stage was about growing up in Jerusalem, the center of the Middle East conflict (e.g., They had metal detectors at every school. If you weren't armed they sent you straight back home! or Les Miserable flopped in Jerusalem--the title was too upbeat for the locals).
But as I began to perform more often, something interesting happened. I started using more humor in sessions than I had before. I tried to do so appropriately and yes, therapeutically as best I could. It came out in small asides, in comments and in observations, and even in how I phrased certain interventions.
The Power of Humor in Psychotherapy
I found humor to be a powerful tool in my work with patients and one that could be very effective in a variety of situations. I used humor to diffuse tension between couples, to reach shut-down or resistant adolescents, or to introduce a different perspective to someone who was seeing things too bleakly.
Despite how useful I found it to use humor I was still extremely nervous about my patients finding out I did stand-up. And then came the day when I looked out into the audience and saw a patient staring up at me-looking more than a little surprised. This specific person had referred several other patients to me over the years and they had also referred people. I knew word would now spread-as indeed it did.
Patients' Reactions to Learning I Did Stand-Up
My patients' reactions to learning I did stand-up were shocking, at least to me-they thought it was entirely a non-issue (especially after I reassured them I did not speak about being a psychologist on stage). "Yeah, it made sense you might do that" or "That's cool, could we come see you perform?" were typical responses. Indeed, when I used humor in my sessions, my patients seemed to respond even more strongly than they had before, not in terms of laughter but in terms of how responsive they were to the points I was trying to make.
My stand-up background was also a significant plus when it came to publishing my book The Squeaky Wheel. Publishing houses were excited about a self-help/psychology title that was practical and informative but had humor infused throughout--and working on all the jokes for the book was great fun.
I believe that humor should be used wisely and often, sparingly. But I also believe it can be a wonderful tool, one that can cut across barriers, dissolve tensions and reach the heart and souls of those that might be otherwise hard to reach.
I'm truly grateful I was able to conquer my fears and try things that terrified me. Humor has become a major asset to my work as a therapist. Skydiving, not so much...
Copyright 2011 Guy Winch
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