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In this land of opportunity, it may be all of the opportunity that is detracting from happiness. Perhaps choice, and the choice not taken, is what leads people to being less than happy. This sounds contradictory; we love having choices. Yet a country that is one of the most affluent does not have comparable happiness.
In economics there is a term called “opportunity cost.” This term is defined as “the cost of giving up the next best alternative.” Life is made up of a series of choices. For every choice made, there is at least one not taken, sacrificed. Most people would be aghast at the suggestion of giving up the freedom of choice. As Barry Schwartz, Ph.D. purports, our freedom to choose is ingrained in our culture. Yet he believes it is also why many aren’t happy.
In his TED Talk, Dr. Schwartz discusses how more choices are resulting in more dissatisfaction. His argument is persuasive, as you can see here. He discusses when a choice is made from numerous options, it often falls short of expectations. Then, it becomes easy to imagine a perfect choice (that may not have existed) that you would have been more satisfied with. To take this disappointment further, one may admonish himself for not finding that perfect choice.
This also relates to the hedonistic treadmill that many Americans find themselves on. In the documentary “Happy”, the hedonistic treadmill is described as believing a thing, a tangible object, will bring you happiness. Once you obtain this particular thing, it does bring novelty and a sense of happiness for a time. Soon the joy of this new “toy” wears off, and some other shiny trinket catches your eye. Advertisers are experts at making this happen. Before you know it, the treadmill continues, one item after another.
This is part of Americana. There is nothing inherently wrong with wanting something. However, as I wrote in “The Psychopathology of Normal”, this can become a substitute for more authentic experience, and ultimately, an obstacle to self-actualization. People often become trapped on this treadmill, wanting one thing after another, forever pursuing happiness, and never really attaining it.
In existentialism, freedom of choice is an integral part of being human. People need to feel empowered to make choices, and take responsibility for the choices made. Through a number of mechanisms, we can make our choice the best choice.
I often tell those close to me, “whatever decision you make will be the right decision.” This may sound hokey, but I believe it to be true. First, people have an innate ability to make the choice that is best for them. The pioneering humanistic psychologist Carl Rogers believed the same. He claimed the answer people seek is within them. He viewed the therapist’s role as simply guiding the client to a deeper realization of his or her self.
Second, people create the meaning of their decisions, and ultimately their lives. Therefore, everyone has the capacity to provide the decision with tremendous beneficial meaning. Whether you believe in fate, divine intervention, or simply that things happen for the best, you can provide deep meaning to the major decisions in your life.
Choices don’t have to rob us of happiness. As Dr. Schwartz points out, it is too many choices and the self-blame for not being perfectly satisfied that leads to disappointment. The continuing cycle of this on the hedonistic treadmill creates unhappiness. If one is aware of their choices, weighs them out, and makes what she believes to be the best choice, then she can be satisfied. Thoughts centering on opportunity cost and self-recrimination may creep in. These thoughts will focus on how there might have been something better, and you made the wrong choice. As the master of your thinking, you do not have to give credence to opportunity cost. You can simply remind yourself you made the best choice.
Having awareness that “opportunity cost” and self-blame may steal into thoughts can help render these thoughts powerless over your mood. You can focus on the positive. You can also take action to make the choice you made the best choice, perhaps by performing acts that reinforce it. You can use your decisions to create the meaning of your life. You can control your thinking. You can reinforce the choice you made. Often we do this unconsciously, through a mechanism called “cognitive dissonance”. (This occurs when the behavior choice doesn’t match the values one claims). But to do it consciously is to take control of your thinking, of your decisions, and of your life.
Copyright William Berry, 2013
References:
Slavin, S. 1999. Economics. Fifth edition
Schwartz, B. 2006. The Paradox of Choice. TED Talks. http://www.ted.com/talks/barry_schwartz_on_the_paradox_of_choice.html
Happy. 2011. Written and directed by Roko Belic.
