The Second Noble Truth

My path of acceptance.
by William Berry

Why You Really Want To Get Married

Marriage has existed longer than written history. When I ask students where they see themselves in ten years, they almost always answer married. Marriage is an integral part of our culture. With marriages failing at nearly fifty percent, and with the multitude of unhappy marriages in existence, why do people still want to get married so badly? Read More

Does Diagnosing Occur to Make the Clinician Comfortable?

Humans spend a lot of mental energy attempting to control the uncontrollable. People attempt to make sense of things. Yet, if you believe the world's great existential thinkers, the world is chaotic, unpredictable, and you can only truly know yourself. It is the human tendency of being uncomfortable with the chaos of life that leads to seeking meaning. Read More

The Passing Of A Year And The Passing Of Your Life

As another New Year begins, people again make plans to better themselves. The whole idea of one year ending and another beginning, as well as the images often used to depict this (a hunched old man at the end of the year, a baby wrapped in the next years banner) suggest what existentialists attempt to convey about life. Read More

Seinfeld, Upper Hand, And Relationship Attachment Style

The work of Mary Ainsworth and related research indicates that there are three attachment styles: Secure, Anxious, and Avoidant. According to research, most people fall into one of these three styles; the attachment styles then characterize behavior in relationships. The secure type needs little explanation: these partners are self-assured in all of their relationships. Read More

The Psychopathology of Normal

"What we call normal in psychology is really a psychopathology of the average, so undramatic and so widely spread that we don't even notice it ordinarily." This quote is by Abraham Maslow, the theorist who gave us the idea of the hierarchy of needs (once your basic needs are met you begin to seek higher needs) and the idea of self-actualization. Read More

How Recognizing Your Death Drive May Save You

There are many theories about the roots of depression. Freud's "Death Drive" is a viable one. The most popular theory explaining depression originates in neuroscience. This theory involves the monoamine neurotransmitters in the brain (dopamine, serotonin, and norepinephrine) and how their activity impacts mood. Read More

Is Psychology Helping or Hindering Your Enlightenment

Eastern philosophy is wrought with paradox. Applying psychology to seeking enlightenment contributes another paradox. In my last post, I discussed how coping skills can be used as defense mechanisms, to the detriment of honoring your feelings. This post discusses how psychology, when overused, acts similarly and interferes with enlightenment. Read More

Are You Overusing Your Psychological Tools?

There are several reasons people enter psychotherapy. The key reasons: to gain insight, problems in daily living, poor mood, and psychological disorders that affect daily functioning. Individuals entering therapy seek coping skills to eliminate, combat, and / or manage these issues. These coping skills are often referred to as tools. Read More

The Relationship Double Bind: From Frustration To Enlightenment

Damned if you do, damned if you don't. How many times have you heard this? More importantly, how many times have you said it about a situation you were in? This is called a double bind: the feeling that whatever decision you make, you are wrong. Everyone experiences this at some point; some are more susceptible to it than others. Read More

Be With Me, Or Let Me Be

In working with couples one thing becomes obvious: although they are living together, often they are not with each other anymore. Many partners live parallel lives; both are too busy to really connect. Sometimes the only real connection they make is during an argument. Read More

Substance Use: Escaping or Embracing Life?

Whenever the topic of substance use arises, it's worthwhile to explore whether the substance is used to escape or enhance life. It can be difficult to differentiate one type of usage from the other. The attitude is often more important than the activity, and the attitude can offer insight into whether there is increased risk for addiction. Read More

Let Go, Be Happy

The more control over life one believes he has the happier he is; however, the attempt to inappropriately control events brings unhappiness. The use of control is paradoxical: we believe taking control will bring us security and happiness, yet its overuse causes unhappiness, anxiety, and malaise. Read More

Were the Hippies Right?

Is there any psychological ailment for which love is not an effective intervention? I am beginning to believe, as the hippies purported, that love is the answer. Read More

As Good As It Gets: Happiness In Present Orientation

In the movie "As Good As It Gets", Jack Nicolson asks a room full of patients, "What if this is as good as it gets?" Ask people, young and old, the question: "What if this is the happiest you will be?" The answers are reminiscent of the adage: "When you have one foot in the future and one foot in the past, you are urinating all over today." Read More

They Are Sober, But Why Are They Jerks?

Why do people, who have been sober for years, behave inappropriately with alarming regularity? Recently, I was asked this question in group therapy (the exact words have been edited as they were not fit to print). The person who posed the question felt she had been misled. She believed that, even after decades of recovery, some people were "still messed up and acting out their issues." Read More

I Think Therefore I...Huh?

Everyone is familiar with this philosophical quote from Descartes: "I think, therefore I am." In considering this, to what degree does thinking define who you are? There are several different aspects to consider when answering that question. Read More

When Men Are Boys and Wives Are Mothers

Why do relationships become dysfunctional? There are a myriad of possible answers. Here is a notable one: The tendency for the male partner to become the child in the relationship, while his female partner becomes the mother. People react to this topic as if it is a common phenomenon that most people are aware of. Read More

The Need For Repetition In the Game of Life

Lately I have been wondering why we need or desire to hear the same messages about spirituality and happiness--repeatedly. We read books saying the same basic things in different ways with regularity. We seem to need to continue hearing similar messages to get back on track in our quest for serenity and happiness. Read More

A Guide to Enlightened Living for the Lazy

This is a time of year when many people make resolutions. Any change is beneficial. I remember talking to a fellow residing at an inpatient treatment facility who didn't want to work out because he wasn't strong and couldn't do much. I assured him that effort is what strengthens. This holds true for behavioral and spiritual changes as well. Any positive change is beneficial. Read More

The Four Part Cure for Happiness

Many people spend their lives in a search for happiness. Happiness is the ultimate goal of life. This idea is as old as time itself; well, perhaps not that old, but it does date back to the time of ancient greek philosophers. Read More

Why Thanksgiving Should Be in March

Thanksgiving is the holiday that kicks off the holiday season (although a case could be made for Halloween with sales starting earlier and earlier). But I believe Thanksgiving is better suited for a month further from Christmas. If you really give some thought to Thanksgiving and Black Friday, although currently inseparably tied, you will agree they are diametrically opposed. Read More

What Recovering Alcoholics Can Teach Us About Happiness

Many people wonder how they can be happy. The answer is simple: acceptance. Just ask recovering alcoholics and many will tell you that is the solution. It has worked for Alcoholics, Buddhists and the followers of other Eastern religions for centuries. In our culture it is being recognized as a successful treatment modality for many mental health issues. Read More

Having Sex? Here Is Your Chance to Reach Enlightenment

Many of us experience enlightenment without realizing it. It sometimes occurs when a relationship is ending and you're having that good-bye tryst. It may be the last time you are ever with this person and you are savoring every minute detail. Or, for others, maybe it occurs shortly after you begin sexual activity with a new partner. Read More

William Berry

William Berry teaches at Florida International University and Nova Southeastern University. His area of interest is substance abuse and individual happiness.

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About The Second Noble Truth

The Second Noble Truth in Buddhism is "desire and craving is the root of all suffering." This blog will focus on the art of acceptance and how it brings happiness.

Current Issue

Are You with the Right Mate?

It is natural to wonder if your partner is the right one for you.