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In my last post, I explained why handsome men might make bad husbands. What is interesting about McNulty et al.’s study is that it shows that the absolute levels of physical attractiveness of the husband and the wife are not as important as their relative difference (whether the husband or the wife is more attractive). In fact, in their data, once the relative difference is taken into consideration, the absolute levels make no difference for the couple’s marital satisfaction or their behavior. Their conclusion is that couples in which the woman is more attractive than the man are happier than the couples in which the man is more attractive than the woman. Why is this? Read More
I like your posts
I have to say it, because you can sometimes be a bit crude and crass, but I like your posts.
Interesting post, but
I think you take it to the extreme in order to make a point. For example, relative height in a relationship is only one of many factors that play into happiness, and there are many couples where the woman is taller than the man but they are both very happy.`Your generalizations make sense from an evolutionary standpoint, but there's more to human relationships than our drive to reproduce.
tall women/short men
In your post you mention "man" happy marriages of short men/tall women. If the 99.86% figure stated in the article is corrrect only one out of 700 marriages are comprised of a wife taller than a husband--& who knows how many of them are hapy--so the "many" happy mariages you mention probably don't exist outside of your imagination
tall women/short men
In your post you mention "man" happy marriages of short men/tall women. If the 99.86% figure stated in the article is corrrect only one out of 700 marriages are comprised of a wife taller than a husband--& who knows how many of them are hapy--so the "many" happy mariages you mention probably don't exist outside of your imagination
Read things. & dont take them too personally, u must be a woman
"There are many individual exceptions to any empirical generalization, but exceptions do not invalidate generalizations."
Quote from Kanazawa Blog.
Short & to the point.
Its ok, I too am a woman, but I think like a man sometimes.
but what about us gay men?
I've heard some of these theories before and your post certainly makes for interesting reading. But what about the gay men? Do we fall into the evolutionary standards in seeking out a mate? Do our relationships match up to these criteria also?
I'm not posting this to raise the banner of Queer Theory. I'm posting because I honestly want to know. I see these studies discussed in pop culture all the time, but I never see anything to explain how gay men seek out mates.
a husband who is better looking than his wife
I find it a matter to probe into concerning why couples are happier when a woman is more attractive than the man in a relationship, than having the man more attractive than the women in a relationship but my take on it may shed some light.
in relaitonhsips, most often times you will want to seek from another person something that you lack, which explains why many average men go for out of the world bombshells or looks to them. It's all a matter of proving thier worth.
And you notice that the very goodlookng men often times are gay or somewhat narcisstic.
Women are used and want to be pampered recieved alot of special treatment and attention, wanted to be cherished and shown affection to, etc etc. She cant really get this unless if she is hot.
However goodlooking men already have the looks, and yes they may be into looking into the mirror and most often times when in relationships the girls would demand alot of that attention in relationships, and the goodlooking guys have the good looks too, so they're not going crazy as the not so goodlooking guys would be when with a beautfiul woman and this might be the reason why the girls seem to be unhappy.
I'm thinking since the goodlooking guys already hve the looks, if you are a pretty woman you have to be more than just a showcase. A woman has to put more effort into getting a goodlooking guy, but if you feel it is worth it, there is nothing wrong with that!
the previous quote directed to "interesting post, but" above
just to clarify.
What are you calling "happy"?
Post is interesting but didn't see "happy" defined. Do any of these scenarios sound like they spell happiness?
- An ugly man being used as a meal ticket by a constantly cheating beautiful wife
- A beautiful woman who marries an ugly man because she knows she has the upper hand
- A beautiful woman wondering, will there ever be a man who loves me for who I am, not what I look like?
- Men staying in relationships only because they can't find anyone better looking
- Women staying in relationships only because there's money in it
- Living with someone you're not in love with, while having one meaningless affair after another
- Living with someone you try to love, but you know they don't love you and keep having affairs
I know we're talking about "evolutionary" behavior here, not well-thought-out ethical behavior, or even what a person would do if they thought deeply about what is most fulfilling in a relationship. But still .... there has to be more to it than blind gene selfishness. At least with human beings.
Response to "What are you calling 'happy'?"
Bou, i have the same question. What is happy? What scale is used to measure it?
I am by no means an expert, but it does seem there should be more, at least for humans and in today's day and age, than the need to reproduce.
I am a woman with a handsome mate. He is not better looking than I, but equally as good looking. While neither of us stray, it is interesting that our jealous issues stem from this place of evolution: i am concerned over younger women; he over older men.
Why good-looking men
Why good-looking men attracts a woman if he does not have status?
Why we still have ugly people on the world?
re Why handsome men make bad husbands...part two
I am happy with my married life because of reasons mentioned here (although these reasons may seem stereotypes):
my husband is taller than I am (therefore we're never self conscious), has more power and money thereby creating the sense of security although we both maintain successful careers, is older than I am (5 years) spelling more maturity in the relationship, he prides himself with having the ability to take care of our child over making himself look "pretty". To add to that, our compatibility due to birth order, he's the eldest while I'm the youngest among sibs.
the only prob is that he used to be a glamour boy and other women flirt with him ALOT when we weren't married yet and STILL do even now that we are married. well anyway that is tempered because im not so bad either... WAHEY! LMAO
on the other hand, my friend who keeps on complaining about her husband and family life is admittedly less attractive than her beautiful husband.
and it does hurt her...at the same time makes her proud that she's got an ubberly good lookin lad at her side...
although these observations may hold true in the world I'm walking in (may it be a cloud or a happy bubble that may easily burst), there are and always will be exceptions to the rule stated in this study...I rest my case :D
So If I am to understand
So If I am to understand this correctly, we should be seeing many couplings were the man is comparatively uglier than the women? Riiigght. Can't say I have seen that many, unless the guy is very rich and powerful.
I believe like attracts like. The vast majority of couples are of similar attractiveness. With the male always being taller, slightly older and earning more but looks wise equal. In general of course.
Very little is still understood about the role of evolutionary psychology and the interplay between culture and rational human thought. Remember at the end of the day we may have biological impulses as the basis of decision making but as intelligent beings many other factors must be taken into consideration.
My real-life scenario
Interesting. I'm looking for "clues" about this for my own situation. Newly dating a woman who's a little older, very accomplished (you have no idea!), and about the same height. Alas, she's also "challenged" in the face. By many indications (even in your column), this relationship is doomed. Yet I'm strangely attracted to her. Frankly, my hesitancy has more to do with the missing beauty part more than anything else. I'd do anything to get beyond my need for beauty in a mate (seemingly priority #1, 2, 3 and 4), but I'm not sure I can look passed this deficit despite all her other wonderful qualities. I feel like a pawn of biological evolution forces. Help!!!
"couples in which the man
"couples in which the man makes more money or is more educated than the woman should be more satisfied with their marriage than couples in which the woman makes more money or is more educated than the man."
Comments like this usually show the blogger is unsure of his masculinity and to feel like a man he must be the richer, the more educated, etc. I prefer men who aren't threatened by educated women who earn money.