The Science of Success

How we can all achieve our goals

Does He Love Me? I Want to Know. (And Here's How to Tell.)

According to new research, romantic feelings like love, intimacy, and commitment reliably lead to some loving behaviors, but not others. Read More

does he love me

I just started to date this guy and I think I'm in love. He won me all these cute animals and is always compliments me and says he can never live without me. Is he in love with me or is it just an act/

Reply to comment | Psychology Today

Stunning story there. What occurred after? Good luck!

If he is complimenting you

If he is complimenting you and he is already saying he can't live without you. These are very strong signs that he is in love with you. Give the guy a chance and see how it works out.

Lisa - http://www.truthsaboutmen.info - What Men Really Want

His behavior is also a marker

His behavior is also a marker of an abuser / malignant narcissist / sociopath. They are charismatic charmers in the wooing stage.

Examine his family of origin and dig for the truth about his childhood, including his parents' behaviors while he was growing up. Don't rely only on his accounts, for another marker of an MN / sociopath is that they lie. (Then again, so do their family members.)

Red flags:
Same sex sexual molestation.
Any father on mother abuse - physical or emotional.
Physical abuse of father towards the kids.
Adultery by the parents.
Close relationship with mother.
Childhood self medicating like drug and alcohol abuse and promiscuous sex.

If he has never had therapy to address his family of origin and childhood trauma issues, then insist he does, for a minimum of 2 years. The time required for a younger brain to develop new neuropathways.)

If he is stuck in denial, then run for the hills. He may be able to maintain normality with his younger brain now, but in 20 years, with an older brain, he will not. If untreated, it is uncanny the compulsion to repeat the cycles of dysfunction that this parents did not remedy when he was a child in their home.

Btw, talented and good looking people from dysfunctional homes often stay stuck longer, for they are given passes on their bad behavior longer, which exacerbates the ingraining.

Does any of this wisdom resonate?

Attraction is a feeling. Love is a promise.

The most common source of problems in relationships is that the couple misinterpreted their mutual feelings of attraction as love. This normally results in the couple trying to keep up appearances after the attraction fades, and wondering where the love went.

It is important to know that attraction is an emotional feeling that fades over time, while love is a promise that has nothing to do with attraction. Love is a promise to do 4 things. For the man:

1. To accept everything that he knows and does not know about her now.
2. To accept her regardless of what happens in the unknown future as they both age - for better or worse, richer or poorer, sickness or health for as long as they shall live. Even if she is later disfigured by an accident or crippled by illness, he promises now to accept her.
3. To forgive her later. Since neither of them is perfect, they depend on each others' forgiveness.
4. To encourage her passions and encourage improvement in areas of weaknesses. This provides purpose for the marriage, otherwise she can quickly get bored with the routine.

If they are both ready to make and keep these promises to each-other, then they are ready to love. When they keep them, they demonstrate their love for each-other. After they formally make their promises at their wedding, they complete or consummate their promises with sexual intercourse. Every time that they subsequently have sexual intercourse, they reinforce their promises – it is truly a wonderful and mutually satisfying mental, physical, emotional and spiritual experience.

The problem is that if they have sexual intercourse before making their promises, then he shows her that he is capable of justifying forsaking her for a younger and shapelier rival when she get older. If he is able to restrain himself when his attraction for her is at its highest, then he shows her that he is capable of resisting the rival that will inevitably come.

My experience is that most couples do not reach the love stage. They seem to simply ride the wave of emotional attraction until it is exhausted.

Source: Attraction is a feeling. Love is a Promise. by Grenville Phillips, president of Walbrent College – 15 years of pre-marital counselling with no separations or divorces to-date. (LoveIsAPromise.wordpress.com)

how i got back my husband

I was crushed when my lover of three years left to be with another woman. I cried and sobbed every day, until it got so bad that I reached out to the Internet for help.And i saw a testimony of a spell caster who help a girl called michelle and i said let me give it a try so i contact him for help and he cast a love spell for me which i use in getting my love back and now i am a happy woman.For what you have done for me,i will not stop to share your goodness to people out there for the good work you are doing.I hope God bless you as much as you have help me to get my Love back,visit him on ablelovespell@gmail.com

GET BACK YOU EX

GET YOUR LOVED ONCE BACK(ex). lost love spells, psychic, herbalist healer, I helped people to solve their marriages, relationships and love problems with my powerful love spell. I must humbly say that I have a very high success rate for the following circumstances:
(1) Get your lost lover back(ex) , missing once
(2)money spell
(3)Capture the heart of the one you love
(4)HIV AIDS CURE
(5)to break a relationship and return to your lover
(6)Make the bond of love between you and the one you love strong and unbreakable
(7)marry the love of your life
(8)How to get scammer's and you want to recover you lost money.
(9) Divorce spell
(10)make your business flourish
11)(barrenness) if you are looking for a child
12) You want to be promoted in your office.
DR OGBODU
========================================
EMAIL ogbodu.spelltemple@gmail.com

Fine article

Fine article
http://emq1j31u.com

Fine article

Fine article
http://emq1j31u.com

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may quote other posts using [quote] tags.

More information about formatting options

Heidi Grant Halvorson, Ph.D., is a social psychologist and author of Succeed: How We Can Reach Our Goals.

more...

Subscribe to The Science of Success

Current Issue

Let It Go!

It can take a radical reboot to get past old hurts and injustices.