The Resilient Life

Living a meaningful and compassionate life

by Robert Wicks

You Know That You're Ignorant? Lucky!

People are often concerned about the negative impact of their ignorance. They feel it is what they don't know that will hurt them and this of course is true, to a certain extent. However, I believe that an even more subtle insidious danger than ignorance is what we think we already know but actually don't. True sensitivity and real wisdom begin with recognizing this fact. Read More

Don't You Talk to YOURSELF That Way!

Sometimes in a heated conversation, persons often feel insulted or put down by what the other person is saying and they respond, “Don’t you speak to me like that!” However, even worse than those situations are the ones that are left undressed in how we speak to ourselves. Our own unexamined silent “self-talk” can help us lose Read More

Are You a Gargoyle on Roller Skates?

A colleague of mine always seems in a rush. Walking across campus he looks a lot alike a gargoyle on roller skates. The upper part of his body seems anxious that he's going to be late. The lower part seems like a pouting, lagging child being dragged along. Read More

Change Is Right in Front of You

Future dramatic changes in life may seem romantic but in reality often they aren't worth as much as we think. New freedom and real change begins in the now, in front of us with the people with whom we live, travel, and work. Any alteration of lifestyle or change of habit begins here. On New Year's Eve it is easy to make promises for the new year. Read More

Personal Intrigue!

Two of the greatest enemies of growth and change are arrogance and ignorance. These two extremes waste more energy than any other defensive maneuver. In fact, if we avoided both of them, growth would happen almost spontaneously and naturally. Zen Buddhists have a great proverb that illustrates this: "Face reality and effortless change will take place." Read More

How To Be More Objective and Stand On Rather Than Be Bothered By Irritating Things in Your Life

When lecturing in Japan, I had an opportunity to visit one of their holiest Shinto Shrines, Ise Jingu. During this visit I was given a personal tour of the temple grounds by one of its directors, a former woodsman, who had a real feeling for animism which is the source of this ancient religion. Read More

When Being Fed Up Is Good

In therapy one of the main reasons people are willing to attempt a program of change is that they are thoroughly fed up with their lives. Such a situation offers a favorable time to risk new attitudes, perceptions and behaviors in lieu of the status quo. Read More

Outflank Your Own Resistances to Change

One of the primary reasons that motivation, of itself, does not automatically lead to change is that we fear the demands involved may be too costly. We may have to see our own role in the problems we are having and do something about it. In addition, we worry about how other people will react when our behavior patterns change. Read More

Self-Knowledge Each Day

Psychologists, psychiatrists, and others in the healing and helping professions have known for years that they must debrief themselves at the end of each day. Otherwise, pressures would build up within themselves that might "psychologically contaminate" their family, friends, and co-workers with the negative experiences they had encountered during the day. Read More

Have a Life!

Physician and author Walker Percy in one of his novels poses the question: "What if you missed your life like a person misses a train?" Unfortunately, in today's stressful world with multi-tasking being the norm of the day, this is so easy to do. Each of us has a range of resilience (the ability to meet, learn from, and not be crushed by the challenges and stresses of life). Read More

Mindfulness and Resilience

The value of silence and solitude, for instance, has recently been better recognized for its purely psychological worth partly due to the work of British psychiatrist Anthony Storr. Read More

Friendship and Resilience

Four Friends You'll Want in Your Life Today

Peig Sayers lived in the Blasket Islands off the coast of Ireland. The winds were so great that even trees couldn't survive and she was asked, "How can you live in a place like this?" To which she responded quite simply, "It is in the shelter of each other that the people live." Read More