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I have spent over the entire year writing about the power of good dress, fit, form, function, and flattery. Just this once, I am going to go against everything that I feel is right and true to teach you how to use your "bad" clothes (ill-fitting, unflattering, etc.) to make you happier and healthier. See below for Part II of a three part series. Part I examines the shrink solution and closet solution to out-of-control shopping habits. Part III, posted next Wednesday, will examine the shrink solution and closet solution to weight issues.
Problem:
The old boyfriend, sleazy coworker, bad boy, or any other man that doesn't deserve you.
Shrink Solution:
During the holidays, you never know who you are going to run into. When emotions run high, such as nostalgia and loneliness, you might be tempted to find companionship with the worst candidates. As the shrink I would probably have you make a pros and cons list of pursuing anything with this guy. I would have you examine the long term consequences of your behavior. We would identify the real reason you are attracted to toxic men, which may include a poor father figure, gross insecurities, needing a project and/or needing to fix someone. I would also question if this man is more valuable because he is less likely to be the man who would treat you right, and if you could change him then surely this must mean you are some kind of woman! Finally, I would ask you if you would recommend this man for your best friend, sister, or daughter. If the answer is "no" for them, then why wouldn't that be the answer for you?
Closet Solution:
If you are afraid that you may find yourself in a compromising position with this forbidden fruit, and would be unable to control your passions, I would suggest a wardrobe that would counter any amorous notions. This may include a stained tank top underneath a sweater or a t-shirt with an embarrassing message, such as "I kiss cowboys." Maybe you slip on nude colored shapewear...not the kind that resembles attractive lingerie, but the kind that was around fifty years ago, lots of hook and eye closures. Maybe you wear those large underarm sweat protectors that are attached by an attractive lace half shirt. Dickies are sure to remove any desire to reveal. If the man should for some reason break through the first layer of defense, be prepared with undergarments with the day of the week or sock suspenders. I have had plenty of patients tell me that wearing pants and refusing to shave their legs for a week usually does the trick to thwart any romantic advances.
