The Pleasures of Sex

How the science of sex can lead to more pleasurable sex.

by Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., M.P.H.

The G Spot, Science & the Need for Brakes

Last week a study was released that purported to have identified the G-Spot. But did this study – based on a single 83 year old woman’s cadaver - “discover” the G-Spot? Or has it simply demonstrated that science could use some brakes? Read More

Exercise-Induced Orgasms: You Asked, I'm Answering!

The 8 most common questions I've received about Exercise-Induced Orgasm (what some call "coregasms") and Exercise-Induced Sexual Pleasure—and my responses. Read More

The Little Explored Secret of Women's Orgasms While They Exercise

Exploring the coregasm: Why do some women experience orgasms during exercise and others do not? Which exercises do these orgasms happen with? And perhaps most important: What does this teach us about women's orgasm overall? Read More

Your Bed: A Treehouse Built for Sex

A little mindfulness, imagination, exclusivity and the rest of the "treehouse principles" may help you make positive changes to your relationship and sex life. Read More

What Pubic Hair (& Its Removal) Has to do with Better Sex

A man's quest to get his girlfriend to shave her pubic hair leads to bigger questions about the intersections of pubic hair, how people feel about their genitals, pleasurable sex, and communication. Read More

To Touch and Be Touched

A personal exploration into the power of touch. Read More

Sex, Pleasure and Orgasm: How Much is Mind, How Much is Body?

Some scientists believe that sexuality is becoming increasingly “medicalized” – that is, sexual problems are often viewed as medical problems that have medical solutions. Here's what you need to know about creating better sex through the intersections of mind and body. Read More

What We Can Learn About Sex From Britney Spears

From Hit Me Baby One More Time to her love affair gone wrong with Justin to her marriage to and divorce from K-Fed, Britney ranks among the top Celebrity Sexperts of contemporary times. Here’s what I think we can learn from her: Read More

For Better Sex, Learn to Forget

An exploration of how sex could be different if we could learn to "forget" our past and our failures and instead, open ourselves to pleasure and wonder. Read More

The Sex Superpower of Forgiveness

A fun game to play with others while waiting for a bus, riding a train or sitting around after dinner is the superpower game - as in, if you could have one superpower, what would it be? Often, people say they'd like to fly, to have x-ray vision or to be invisible. These are all well and good for people who want to be super at fighting crime, but what do they do for sex and love aside from having sex in mid-air (flying), spoiling the surprise (x-ray vision) or being a voyeur in someone else's bedroom (invisibility).

This got me thinking about what superpowers might make for better sex - and what we can learn from them.

New results from our large national sex study show that nearly 1 in 3 women ages 18 to 59 experience difficulty with pain during sex. Read More

Sex: The Pleasure, Surprise and Responsibility of Seeing Your Partner's Other Side

There are a thousands reasons why sex can be a wonderful source of pleasure. One of them is because it gives you a chance to see a private, special side to another person that few other people in the world may ever get to see. Read More

What We Can Learn About Sex From Tiger Woods

Clearly, Tiger and his family have been through quite an ordeal and this post isn't to minimize or mock their very painful experiences. Rather it's to ask, what can we learn from the fiasco that was his sex life uncovered? Read More

The Surprising Ways Breast Play Can Enhance Arousal

Breasts are often left out of couples' sex play, but they can be an important part of full body intimacy and pleasure. Read More

What Your Feet Have to Do With Better Sex

In their quest for more pleasurable sex, people often focus a bit too much on their genitals. Here's how an unexpected body part - your feet! - can lead to better sex. Read More

Why It Pays To Be Foolish in Love (and Sex)

Some years ago, my heart broke very badly after a relationship that, even as it was beginning, I knew probably could not last. I could say that I wish that it was the only time that my heart had ever broken, but I'd be lying. It's not that I enjoy heartbreak. The tissues I sobbed into and the Tylenol PM that I took in order to fall asleep those first couple of nights would tell you a story of just how much I don't like to experience hurt.

But here's the thing: this heartbreak and willingness to try again is central to a point that I want to make: namely, that I think it pays to be foolish in love and in sex. Read More

Take Your Time in Love and Sex: For Better Flirtation, Seduction and Pleasurable Sex

Once upon a time, a man made me wait for those three sought-after words. Little did I know what waiting for love would teach me about the timing and pace of both love and sex. After all, it's waiting that's an integral part of how we flirt, how we seduce each other and even how we work out our desire and frequency of sex in long term relationships and marriage. But we often give into the quick rush and passion of love and sex rather than allowing the magic to unfold on its own (or with a little help). Here's how to change that. Read More

Is The Person You Come Home To Someone You Yearn to Have Sex With?

Recently I had the chance to see the movie Up in the Air starring George Clooney. Though there were allusions to highly pleasurable and even marginally acrobatic sex in the movie, the part that hinted at the best sex has to offer - and yes, also some of the biggest challenges to passionate sex - surprised even me. Read More

Be Here (In Bed) Now: How Mindfulness Makes for Yummy Sex

Monk, peace activist and author Thich Naht Hanh has long written that mindfulness can make for a more peaceful and contented existence. But did you know that it can make for better, more pleasurable, sex? Read More

Missed Connections: Taking Chances in Love and in Sex

Many of us are familiar with newspaper classified or Craigslist "missed connections" - the two people who caught each others' eyes on a subway but never met or made small talk in an elevator but didn't have the courage to ask for each other's phone number (or even a first name). But those aren't the only missed connections - most of us have had the experience of having a moment in which love, sex or a relationship might have gone another way if only you or he or she had done or said X, Y or Z. Of course, the path not taken can never be known - but, nevertheless, sometimes it makes us wonder. What might have happened if only...? Read More

How to Have Better Sex: Advice For Your Younger Self

How taking your own sex advice can make for better, more pleasurable, inspiring sex. Read More

How Saying No to Sex Can Help You Learn to Love It Again

If you want to change your sex life for the better, learn how saying no can lead to more pleasurable sex and a libido boost.

Love, desire and sexual attraction weave stories of bliss when they're reciprocated, but what happens when they're not? As much as we may wish it to be otherwise so, some people may not want to "play" with us in the way we want them to: as a date, a boyfriend, a partner, a wife. What do we do when the person we want doesn't want us back? Read More

Your Want List: In Love and In Sex

Too often in love and in sex, we go with the flow. We think things are going well enough or there's no apparent conflict (and many of us are scared of conflict) so as long as there are no rough waters, we think everything must be fine. We're safe, comfortable, maybe we even think at times that safe and comfortable add up to happy. And then one day someone asks us what we want. Read More

When Sex Suffers After Heartbreak and Loss

Getting your sex life back after a period of grief or loss takes effort, patience and a little guidance. Read More

Why Touch and Cuddling Are Important to Sexual Satisfaction

Recent research about sex and love has found that touching and cuddling, though important to both women and men, may be particularly important for men's sexual satisfaction, relationship happiness and marital commitment. Read More

What Are Your Sexual Intentions?

Emotional intentions can influence the quality of a person's sexual experiences. Here's how becoming aware of these intentions may be helpful to you in your own sex life. Read More

Somewhere Only You Know

Once, when a relationship I loved but struggled with was ending, I felt convinced that if only he and I went to the spot of one of our first dates (a place we had returned to throughout our relationship and where we always felt calm and connected), we would somehow figure everything out. Read More

Touch Me, Baby: When Skin is the Biggest Sex Organ

These 8 tips for sexier, more mindful touching can enhance your desire and the overall quality of your sex life. Ready? Read More

Weighing the Risk to Love

It is often an enormous risk to make oneself vulnerable to another person - and yet, that's often what love requires if it is ever going to have a chance. Read More

Debby Herbenick, Ph.D., M.P.H., is a Research Scientist and Associate Director at The Center for Sexual Health Promotion and a sexual health educator at The Kinsey Institute.

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