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Lisa Manterfield
Lisa Manterfield
Child Development

Keep It Simple

When you can't see the next step, get out of your own way.

I recently reconnected with a childhood friend and we made plans to meet in San Francisco over Thanksgiving. We know that the third member of our trio lives in the area and so we decided to track her down to join our reunion.

I know how to research, so I did what I do best and hit the Internet. I tried the social media outlets, then turned to Google and followed up on leads until I found a reference to someone I thought might be our friend. I followed that line of clues, but couldn't find any usable reference from within the last six years, and eventually I ran up against a brick wall. I walked away to wrack my brains for a new plan of attack.

Meanwhile, my friend reported that she had written and posted a letter to our missing friend's mother, giving her our contact information to pass along to her daughter. I had to laugh. Her solution was so simple, and also the most likely to get results.

I began to lament how technology has made us forget how to fully use our brains. I was so caught up in the instant gratification of the Internet search engine that it never even crossed my mind to simply write and post a letter to a living human being and ask for assistance.

But I can't really blame technology.

So often we get caught up in our own way of doing things that we don't even look up to see the obvious solutions. This is where a second set of eyes (or ears) comes in.

A human sounding board is an excellent tool for solving problems and seeing the next logical step clearly. For the price of a cup of coffee, or maybe lunch, you can often talk your way out of your own problems. All you need is a friend.

"Yes," you say, "but my friend doesn't understand this subject/problem/situation."

He doesn't have to. All he has to do is listen, because odds are, once you start talking one of two things will happen:

1) Your friend will look at your problem through the filter of his own expertise and maybe offer a solution you weren't able to see through your own eyes, or

2) In talking yourself through all the options that won't work, you'll end up talking yourself right into a solution that will.

Remember the old K.I.S.S. acronym? Keep it simple, Stupid. While I don't think it's helpful to call yourself derogatory names, when you're trying to figure out your next step, sometimes you just need to get out of your own way.

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About the Author
Lisa Manterfield

Lisa Manterfield is the creator of LifeWithoutBaby.com and the author of I'm Taking My Eggs and Going Home: How One Woman Dared to Say No to Motherhood.

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