The Parents We Mean to Be

Raising moral, happy children without too much or too little parenting.

by Richard Weissbourd

Rethinking How to Motivate Children

As parents, we often struggle with how much to reward, praise, punish and use other types of incentives in raising our kids. In a very interesting, helpful new book, "Strings Attached," author Ruth W. Grant deals with incentives in all kinds of situations, including how parents have better alternatives than incentives for dealing with difficult situations with their children: Read More

Should We Tell Children They're "Special?"

In her interesting, thoughtful book, The Self-Esteem Trap, psychologist Polly Eisendrath underlines "the value of being ordinary." She worries that all the overt and subtle ways that modern parents convey to children that they are special make children self-important and arrogant and deprive them of the capacity for healthy connections with others. Read More

How Do We Help Children Take Other Perspectives? A Conversation with Ellen Galinsky

I had the good fortune to talk to Ellen Galinsky, the author of Mind in the Making, about her important insights about perspective-taking. Below is our conversation:

1. Why do you think perspective taking is an essential skill? Read More

Raising a Moral Teenager: Two Conflicting Myths

Parents and other adults are famously frustrated with teens who they see as selfish, uncaring and unable to stand for important principles. Teens, adults commonly lament, are thin reeds who are far too easily buffeted by the whims of their peers. Read More

Moral Adults: Moral Children

In the Brother's Grimm fairy tale, "The Old Grandfather and the Grandson," a young married couple has grown tired of the husband's father, who lives with them, and who has become increasingly feeble. They stop inviting him to the dinner table and begin feeding him small portions from a dishpan. Read More

Sports Parents II: Creating Strong Parent-Coach Relationships

These days the relationship between parents and their children's sport coaches is often troubled. Coaches sometimes feel heavily scrutinized and patronized by parents whom they see as badly biased and as lacking the knowledge to judge them. Read More

The Morally Mature Sports Parent

In resarching my book--and I spoke to parents from many parts of this country as well as from Canada and Australia--there was nothing easier than to find stories about parents who acted like idiots at children's sporting events. Read More

Why Teaching Values Isn't Enough

These days we hear a lot of talk about teaching kids values. According to a major survey by the organization Public Agenda, more than six in ten American adults identified "as a very serious problem" young people's failure to learn fundamental moral values, including honesty, respect, and responsibility for others. Read More

Changing the Goal of Child Raising

Both my research-- and other studies-- suggest that American parents and children view happiness and self-esteem as the main aims of development, often placing happiness above morality. Read More

Ten Tips for Raising Kids Who Care

Almost all parents want their children to be good people and to be happy. Read More

Why Are We Praising Our Children So Much?

These days children are often showered with praise. Spend just a little time on a playground, a sports field, or in a classroom, and you'll inevitably hear adults praising kids for behavior that a generation ago would not have merited notice, such as showing up on time or remembering to do homework. Read More