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December 21, 2014
I was listening to Taylor Swift’s “Shake it Off” (yes, again), and it reminded me of the most famous instruction of Buddhist teaching. Some say it’s the only instruction. “Let it go.” Just last year, we had Elsa (via Idina Menzel) singing “Let it Go”, but that was slightly different. Elsa was letting go of her resistance, and stepping into her own emotions and selfhood - a very important message in itself. She was also letting go of her past. And freezing up a heckuva ice castle.
But this year, I’m all about Taylor Swift! In life, we all need to shake it off sometimes. Swift’s song channels a couple of my favorite Buddhist stories and teachings. First, from the Buddha himself (in the Dhammapada):
“He abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me,”--in those who harbour such thoughts hatred will never cease. “He abused me, he beat me, he defeated me, he robbed me,”--in those who do not harbour such thoughts hatred will cease.
The sermon goes on to emphasize “hatred does not cease by hatred, but by love alone does hatred cease; that is the eternal law.” It’s letting go, but also loving your enemies.
The other Buddhist story Taylor Swift channels for me is the tale of an older monk and his student. They come to a river, and meet a woman who is trying to get across. She asks to be carried. The younger monk refuses, citing his vows of restraint and celibacy. The older monk simply picks her up and carries her over the river, putting her down on the other side and letting her go on her way. Hours later, as they walk on, the younger monk still fumed. “How could you do that?”
The older monk simply said, “Brother, I put her down hours ago. You are still carrying her.”
“Shake it Off” sounds like a hip, danceable version of age-old wisdom to me. Maybe Taylor Swift is an old soul after all. Shaking it off can happen in several ways. Call this another Eightfold Path!
- Minimize, devalue and disbelieve abusive statements and events, with a recognition that these say more about the other party than they do about you.
- Forgiving. Which is not about letting anyone off the hook, but about ‘shaking off’ any resentments, grudges, bitterness and hostilities you may have, which only harm you, after all.
- Deflecting. For great examples of this, listen to KQED reporter Mina Kim’s interview with Amy Dickinson of Ask Amy about navigating difficult family situations at the holiday table.
- Being the bigger person.
- Connecting with the deeper truths of being human, through mindfulness and compassion, and generating wisdom through awareness of suffering and its causes.
- Part of shaking it off is pushing for a better world, I think. This applies to the things that we shouldn’t simply “let go of” – the things that cause the world continued strife.
- Deleting abusive comments on your blog! (LOL)
- And most importantly, rewarding yourself with a happy dance!
Shaking it off is not about “lightening up” or telling someone ELSE to shake off their issues – it’s about you shaking off the things that keep you from staying open, caring and empathic; shaking off the things that would harden or wound you. Shaking off is a part of healing.
2014 has been a pretty difficult year (see my article “Anger and Injustice from Birth to Death”). In February, I anticipated the Year of the Horse as a powerful, energetic year of confrontation with deep problems – and boy, did that prophecy come true! Next year is the year of the gentle sheep or fighting ram – so I anticipate we will have choices to make, particularly around peace and violence. That’s true every day of every year, of course.
I’m going to close out this year with a thanks to all the artists who make our lives better and inspire us with their work. Art, especially music, has been a vital and viral therapy for as long as we’ve been around. I hope that art will emphasize inclusion and compassion even more in 2015!
Here’s to shaking off 2014!
© 2014 Ravi Chandra, M.D. All rights reserved.
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