The New Teen Age

Such an important topic that is not readily discussed and considered shameful. I love the line that adolescence is about exploration and hopefully a journey that has an end result of a healthy sexual adult. Bravo.

Yes, there's a double standard, but why? Adolescent boys are obsessed with sex; higher testosterone levels contribute to this (women with higher levels of testosterone tend to be more interested in casual sex, too).

I'd consider guys (teens) that have sex and especially those that brag about it - douchebags. I'm also disgusted by the thought of sexting, but, of course, mainly in girls, because they may not realize that they're being made into sexual objects. If a girl I knew sexted, I'd lose a little respect for her, but if a guy did, I'd simply /facepalm, because he's an idiot. For girls, sex might be considered giving into the pressure and something she'll regret. For guys, it's a success. The double standard, as cruel as it may seem, is justified, psychologically, evolutionarily and biologically. Guys are supposed to be ready all the time; girls are supposed to choose their mates more carefully, because they undergo pregnancy and are thus more limited in the amount of genes they can possibly spread. With the advent of condoms, the pill and legalized abortion, we may expect the stigma to lift, but it's rooted fairly deeply in our nature.

Then again, I'm almost always more interested in nature than in nurture, and I also see most teens in relationships as naive; I can't claim impartiality.

This is an opportunity to talk about how girls are often conditioned to accept double standards. Tell them it's brave to question the status quo.

Better yet, tell them that biological differences can not be shrugged off with "you go girl." Pregnancy and STDs make sex riskier for women than men - greater social opprobrium follows logically. Teach your children that sexual irresponsibility is foolishly risky, not bravely empowering. And make sure they are equipped to reduce those risks through self-respect, foresight, selectivity, assertiveness, and prophylactics.

You both write why you agree that girls should not have sexual relationships, and that it's only logical that it's good for boys to have sex but bad for girls.

But STD's, unwanted pregnancies, and emotionally crippled approaches to love create big problems for boys, too, and it is in all families' interests, whether boys' or girls', to be responsible around relationships.

What I find deeply unfair is that we teach girls that heterosexual relationships are love unions, and tenderness and sex are ways to express love (Disney), while we teach boys that sex is about abuse and domination (torture porn).

Clearly, the two teachings are irreconcilable, and clearly, this is a case of social conditioning, "nurture", not nature.

I also think that the damaging effects of this kind of sexual education are evident everywhere in our culture. Women who are sexually mature and satisfying partners, are not handed over as virgins from the father to the husband.

The sexual malaise with their twin corollaries of lack of desire and porn addiction which destroys the majority of American marriages, is a logical result of our bigotted and logically incongruent approaches to gendered sex education.

It harms all of us, not just those girls who succumbed to the impossible asymmetry of "he's a stud she's a slut" and drew the only logical consequence: "I loved a man, and that makes me such a contemptible person that I have to kill myself."

This article + mole hill = mountain.

"Adolescent boys are obsessed with sex" So are adolescent girls. Adolescents generally spend a lot of time thinking about sex, masturbating, and fantasising about sex. There is not a whole lot of difference between girls and boys in this regard.

"If a girl I knew sexted, I'd lose a little respect for her, but if a guy did, I'd simply /facepalm, because he's an idiot."

You're right, the double standard is still alive and well. How nice to know that boys can get away with stupid expressions of their sexuality and just be idiots while girls loose respect. It is thoughts like this that lead to things like sexting suicides. Why would you loose respect for a girl who did this and not a guy? Because you feel, deep down, that she is more of a 'slut', that she is a 'bad girl' for daring to think about sex without being male? That you feel woman have no right to be sexual beings?

Your prophecy is self fulfilling. "only boys think about sex and if a girl thinks about sex I loose respect for her and would discourage it". It just keeps the harmful status quo where it is.

"The double standard, as cruel as it may seem, is justified, psychologically, evolutionarily and biologically."

I'm glad you think this is more important than it being justified ethically, morally, and socially. Also, there is no real proof for that except dodgy 'socio-evolution' bull like "men hunt mammoths and women have babies!"

Is it that impossible for you to realise that loosing respect for woman who make stupid mistakes while exploring their new feelings of sexuality can lead to harm? Can you not just accept that both sexes will do silly things while dealing with new feelings and hormones and that maybe just a /facepalm and a talk about how that isn't the best way to express yourself might be the best response in the case of both sexes?

Also Matt G I love how you consider two girls committing suicide to be a 'molehill'

Self-entitled athletes and spurned girls also play into the harassment - even murder or suicide - of girls and women.

Think George Huguely and Yeardley Love, Ben Roethslingberger, and Phoebe's criminally-charged abusers Sean Mulveyhill, Kayla Narey, Ashley Longe, Sharon Chanon Velasquez, and Flannery Mullins.

South Hadley H.S. senior football star Sean Mulveyhill dated newcomer Phoebe while still hitched to his gf, SHHS lacrosse star Kayla Narey.

According to District Attorney Eliz. Scheibel, Mulveyhill not only "taunted" Phoebe - he also "ENCOURAGED" gf Kayla and Ashley Longe to taunt her viciously - which indeed the girls did.

INDICTMENT OF ASHLEY LONGE: http://www.masslive.com/news/index.ssf/2010/04/court_documents_outline_a...

DISTURBING: What does this say about girls, conflict resolution and approp. treatment + respect from boyfriends?

UNTHINKABLE, BUT SADLY/FATALLY TRUE:

DISTURBING: What does this say about enabled self-entitled athletes - enabled to abuse girls like sport by egos, parents, coaches, schools/towns, and WEAK athletic codes of conduct?

Parents, school officials, and coaches must start EARLY in anti-harassment.

These comments about the differences between boys and girls are ridiculous and utter nonsense. I most certainly would claim all the nonsense about wanting commitment, feeling pressured, etc that MichealExe describes precisely because I knew if I didn't, I would be labeled a slut. Deep down, I know that this in no way reflects my desires or attitudes about sex.

I lived in constant fear as a teenager that I would be found out that I liked sex and that my desires were wrong. At 44, I still would NEVER reveal the number of sex partners I have, that I occasionally long to have a lurid affair to provide an exciting counterpoint to the familiarity of marriage (though I won't act on it for many reasons primarily commitment to my family).

I can assure you that little girls masturbate a lot. My 4 year old is obsessed with her genitals. Any change in this will have to be imposed by me. It most certainly won't come naturally.

I am sure that the response to this post will be that I and my daughter have high levels of testosterone. Whatever. Amateur Darwinist are always quoting evolution as a justification for culturally specific behaviours that have no basis in fact. Wide spread suppression of women across most but not all cultures proves nothing except that people will exercise power to suppress others whenever they can get away with it. It does not prove anything at all about women's motivations as regards that fact that they can become pregnant.

Considering that the girls are mostly characterized as "sluts", we could guess that there is a discrimination against them in the notion of "boys can enjoy sex, girls cannot".

First, I need to say that there are females who often call other females "sluts" because they've been with a couple of guys (that's what happens where I live). Well, obviously, they are just being jealous. But the point is that they never insult the males who have been with those "sluts". So, at some point, even females keep this discrimination going.

Second, males are not always favored. Some of them come from families with strict religious and moral beliefs. So, as these boys grow up in a society where sex becomes a "must" for their age, they probably feel depressed and less worthy than their classmates who have already had sex. They are often bullied for being virgins.

Third, people often say that it's not fair to call girls "sluts" and feel ok about boys having sex, meaning that we should let girls have as much sex as men so as to be equal. I'm just asking... what would happen if we called boys "sluts" instead? Well, some of them would probably have less sex or not at all. This sounds equal, but "slut" is a strong word, and is considered bullying. So, why don't we just explain to both boys and girls, without using any insulting adjectives, that sex is not only flesh contact but something more and that's how it should remain. We should tell them that our first sex experience affects us emotionally, and that's why we should be really careful deciding the time and the person we have sex with. We need to help them become good parents in the future, instead of encouraging them to have sex too early so as girls can be equal to boys.

This is an opportunity to talk about how girls are often conditioned to accept double standards. Tell them it's brave to question the status quo.

Better yet, tell them that biological differences can not be shrugged off with "you go girl." Pregnancy and STDs make sex riskier for women than men - greater social opprobrium follows logically. Teach your children that sexual irresponsibility is foolishly risky, not bravely empowering. And make sure they are equipped to reduce those risks through self-respect, foresight, selectivity, assertiveness, and prophylactics.
vrouw zoekt man

From my experince, people will call girls and women sluts even if they do not engage in any sexual activity. So this goes beyond just sexually active females demographic. It is a way to change females behavior or to oppress females in general.

Where are all these sluts you are all talking about and how can I meet them?

I am glad to tell you that the case is not always such. Indeed, the use of the word “slut” is no longer restricted to derogatory contexts. I've met girls who were brave enough to declare in public, “I'm a slut, and I'm proud”, one of them being a classmate of mine.

Although I don't encourage anybody to do the same—since, due to the underdevelopment of a given community, that may hurt one's reputation—I'm happy to see that we—at least, in particular parts of the civillized world—are able to.

As society progresses towards a better adaptation to the word that surrounds it, the old superstitions are given up on. Complete social liberty is bound to emerge sooner or later. The question is when, not whether.

Don't base your decisions on emotions, which are engendered in the irrational parts of your mind; make your decisions in accord with the scientific method. Find out the facts, and never ignore them:
1. Because of its prosperity, the West is the most promiscuous place on Earth, yet it has the lowest rates of sexually transmitted infections. It's not about the number of people you are sexually active with; it's about how you protect yourself.
2. Mississippi preaches abstinence in its schools, yet Mississippi is the US capital of teen pregnancy. Compare with the blue states. Surprize-surprize, absitence does not work best! Also, if you don't want children at all in your life, I would suggest sterilization.

Step out of the darkness that is ignorance and ignominy, and behold the Light. Aumgn.

“Laws against adultery are based upon the idea that woman is a chattel”. That sentence may sound odd to you now, but as you educate yourself further, this truth appears obvious to you. Here's a hint: take a glance at the customs of the Middle East. It's all in human nature.

The point that everyone seems to be missing is that this tragedy is not about the degradation of women, or some imagined double-standards between the sexes, or even about sex. It is about bullying. It is pedantic in the extreme to focus on the specific epithet used in the act of bullying, because bullying is entirely about rejection and intimidation. The bullies will grab hold of absolutely any facet of the person they wish to bully to use as a weapon and justification.

The situation outlined in the blog post did not happen due to any gender-specific bias. It happened because some people enjoy spreading their deep-seated unhappiness onto others.