The Mystery of Happiness

How to live a soulful and spiritual life
by T. Byram Karasu, M.D.

April is Poetry Month: Some of These

In the beginning was the DeedThe time was slainIrrevocably, and Framed for the convenanceAll desecrations were rendered sinlessGod was pregnantI remember yetMore than all of these Read More

April is Poetry Month: Even Ever

If I ever loved before, I didn't. The thing,Resembled broodings of its tribulations.On the far side of ungirdled, and quiveringsOf garish desires-for whatever reasonBearing the name of love.I tried to decipher myself, trapped inSilences of mortal stakes, but stillHauled in salt and sweat of errorsNever to be scaled. Read More

April is Poetry Month: Disappropriation

Do I know any better who I am? Or onlyFeigning just to arm myself againstTime's accusations; after allI have promises to keep: move outOf my anxious home and forgive allMy peripheral wrongs-wrong for my years.I'll tell the truth for once, leave enoughUnsaid and tear up all warrants. Read More

April is Poetry Month: The Scars of an Unsubstantiated Life

If you accept my discontent and not just my intemperance,My "rages" and "counterfeit glooms,"Our life would run its similitude course;Hard silence, tedious dances, and mutual upbraidings.If you accept My "profane" right to be exempt from the rules of life-Unfaithful to myself-Our life would run its undaunted course;No apologies, no reconciliations, or worse, feigned submissions,A taste of venge Read More

Winning By Losing

The Shah of Persia refused to be taken to the Derby Day, saying, "It is already known to me that one horse can run faster than another."

--William James Read More

Sharing the Joy and the Burden

People who tend to take over everything are more tiring than tired. Independent of their competence, they feel uncomfortable in delegating and micromanage every detail. They think that if they don't, either it will not be done or it will be done incorrectly. They have no confidence in others, regardless of their competency. Read More

Karmic Debts

The magical process of transmuting ordinary materials into something of true merit requires commitment and love of one's work; meaning emerges as a by-product of such an engagement. The primary satisfaction is in finding in one's work that which corresponds to one's inner self and not seeking exclusively secondary gains, such as prestige, money, and other trappings. Read More

God Within

There is a story about a Sufi, Nasreddin, who goes to a teacher for music lessons. "How much do the lessons cost?" he asks. "Fifteen dollars for the first lesson, ten dollars each after that," says the teacher. "Fine," Nasreddin replies. "I'll begin with lesson number two." Read More

Finding Self

Soulmaking is patiently cultivating one's soul. It is not that one either has a fully formed soul or doesn't. The soul is always in a state of ascension. You should not be discouraged if you don't experience the soul's full presence. The first step is to find out the real nature of your self-your simple, rough form-and become transparent to yourself. Read More

For God's Eyes Only

The things I keep around me are all soul makers. I take care of them because they are all sacred things. When they are clean and balanced, and my space is uncluttered, they are transformative. I work better when these things are taken care of. I spend many hours in my office. Usually my thoughts, feelings, and ideas ferment here. Read More

Soulful Unfolding

If one's selfhood and self-worth are closely associated with possessions, one sees a frantic search for acquisition, as desire is trapped within the unsatisfied self-a sort of psychological infection. As a consequence, the soul's needs can at best become expressed in a host of compromises, in which spiritual growth is stunted. Read More

The Happiness Is Subtraction

When our functional mind applies its technological efficiency and mathematical orderliness to emotional states, it breaks down happiness into its presumed components and measures these components by quantifiable elements: a beautiful dress, a marriage, a promotion, a car, a vacation, lots of money, and the like; multiplies those things with an intensity of addiction; and ends up darkening the world with clutter to the point that no light of life can get in Read More

Passion for Non-Human Things

For centuries, both Western and Eastern religions have tried to convey to us the sacredness of all beings, including inanimate things. Christians, for instance, hold everyday objects in high regard as vessels with which they can serve God, and Jewish mystics have taught that every creation contains sparks of the divine. Hindus are known to take great pleasure in ordinary things, which are viewed as manifestations of Brahma, while Sufi poets are able to find the fingerprints of the Beloved on everything. Read More

The Love of Work

Borrowing from the words displayed on the banner in front of Ficino's Florentine academy, we all seem to have adopted his Epicurean motto-Pleasure in the Present-without studying what the philosopher really meant. So we eat as much as we want, pursue our sexual interests, seek excitement all the time, spend money, possess things, and expand our leisure time. Read More

Soul Mate

"Soul mateness," more than emotional intimacy, grows with crises and adversities. Although it occasionally occurs in an initial encounter, soul matedness is developed over time. A soul mate is not found but cultivated. Soul mateness is not like love at first sight but more like W.W. Benjamin's "love at last sight." "From love of man one occasionally embraces someone in random," says Nietzsche. But one must remain in that embrace for a long time in order for that person to evolve to a soul mate. There is no microwave equivalent to it. Read More

Generic Altruism and Specific Selfishness

It is overstated (but there is some truth to it) that in choosing a partner man tends to settle for physical beauty, and woman for a good provider, even though both seek many other qualities (intelligence, sense of humor, health, sensuality, good genes) as well. It is interesting that none of these qualities determines either the stability or the durability of a marriage. Read More

The Miracle of Marriage

The setting of Jesus' first miracle-his transmuting water into wine-is a wedding ceremony in Cana. "All marriages take place at Cana," says a faithful Thomas Moore. Read More

The Selfish Saint

The mind has a thousand eyes, And the heart but one; Yet the light of a whole life dies, When love is done.

-Francis William Bourdillon

Read More

If You Love One, You Will Be Loved By Many

All couples are jealous and provoke strong feelings in each other. Nevertheless, they refuse to admit having these feelings because of the demeaning implications of such an admission. In reality, jealousy is corrosive only if left unattended. Otherwise, it is a natural human emotion and, as such, a building block of one's soul. Read More

Every Love Has A Lie In Its Formation

Intimacy doesn't require absolute knowledge of oneself or the other person. There is always some resistance to too much self-exploration. People really don't want to know or have it known what secrets are slumbering in their souls. If you try too much to penetrate another person, you'll find that you have thrust him into a defensive position that he fights against. Read More

God Has No One To Blame

Most arguments escalate between spouses, other family members, friends, or co-workers because no one takes the blame and says, "It is my fault, and I am sorry." An apology could end even major wars among nations, never mind the ordinary arguments of individuals. Commonly, people accuse someone else for whatever has gone wrong, and there may be a small truth in that projection. Read More

Soulful Intimacy

The excessive clinging is the most frequent manifestation of structured emotional dependence on another person, which is often taken for love. Such intense and intractable attachments, however, invariably lack the very ingredients required for genuine love-delight in the other person in his or her own right and in the person's own way as an independent being. Read More

Love is Happiness

Ring the bells that still can ring,Forget your perfect offering.There is a crack in everything.That's how the light gets in.

-Leonard Cohen

Read More

The Pursuit of Wholeness

Loving someone doesn't mean merging with that person. The myth of Hermaphrodite tried to explain why we human beings are so predisposed to merge with our lovers (not necessarily urging that we should or must do so in order to find true love, or even that merging is a desirable thing to strive for). Read More

Look for Goodness in People

Noah benShea's book The Word: Jewish Wisdom Through Time tells a Yiddish folktale that shows how where we came from and to whom we may want to go affect our predisposition: Read More

Self-love precedes the love of others

Self-love is benign self-compassion, not malignant self-centeredness, which unfortunately we call narcissism. Narcissism refers to a metaphor that describes a particular state of mind in which the world appears as a mirror of the self. It is used as an expression of unprincipled self-preoccupation. Read More

What Exactly Is Happiness

André Malraux, the French novelist, described a country priest who had heard confessions for many decades and summed up what he had learned about human nature in two statements: "First of all, people are much more unhappy than one thinks...and second, there is no such thing as a grown-up person." These two observations are very closely related, if not one and the same: people who have no Read More

T Byram Karasu

T. Byram Karasu, M.D., is Silverman Professor of Psychiatry at Albert Einstein. He is the author of many books including The Art of Serenity.

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