The Mystery of Happiness http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/feed en-US Nature Is Transformative http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200911/nature-is-transformative <p>Joseph Campbell tells the story of how a Zen master stood up before his students to deliver a sermon. Just as he was about to open his mouth, a bird sang. The Zen master proclaimed, "The sermon has been delivered." Nature is a natural teacher. All you need is to read its sacred scripture. A student had neither harmony with nature nor any idea what he could learn from this master. What a great teacher nature is, if one can participate in it. But the student was just an observer, and a contentious one at that.</p><p>In nature, the observer remains an outsider. Hidden from nature, he can neither locate himself nor be located. The participant, by contrast, situated within nature, finds himself and is found, even if he is hidden in it.</p><p>Throughout history people of different cultures and religions have gravitated to their respective sites of power and beauty, such as the river Ganges (India), the Western Wall (Jerusalem), the Temple at Delphi (Greece), and St. Peter's Basilica (Rome), in order to seek personal transformation. Yet nature itself is the ultimate transformer. As Wendell Berry says, "Whoever really has considered the lilies of the field or the birds of the air and pondered the improbability of their existence in this warm world within the cold empty stellar distances will hardly balk at the turning of water into wine-which was, after all, a very small miracle. We forget the greater and still continuing miracle by which water (with soil and sunlight) is turned into grapes."</p><p>In nature we are confronted everywhere, even in a simple garden, with wonders-but we have to seek divinity within them. In their book <em>Spiritual Literacy</em>, Frederic and Mary Ann Brussat advise us to spend time in a flower garden. But we are to make sure that our visit is long enough to take in the various charms provided by the universe of blossoms, stems, and petals. Whatever way we choose to spend our time, we should be aware that we are gracious guests in someone else's home-nature's abode-so we must act accordingly.</p><p>We should be bathed by the rays and feel the way flowers must feel as the sun shines on them. We should gaze at the great beauty and variety of blooms, their diverse shapes and colors, and the way each is different yet part of the world of flowers. We should use all our senses, hearing the sounds of blossoms in the breeze, and smelling the fragrance of the flowers, separately and together, and experience the garden's vulnerability and its infinity. If you really touch one flower, you touch the whole world, say the Sufis.</p><p>As Scott Russell Sanders says in his book <em>Staying Put</em>, one's spiritual center is also a geographical one: one cannot live a grounded life without being grounded in a <em>place</em>. By belonging to a landscape, one feels a rightness, an at-homeness, a knitting of self and world. This sense of clarity and focus, of being fully present, is likened to what in Buddhism is called mindfulness, what Christian contemplatives refer to as recollection, and what Quakers call centering down.</p><p>Whether at Stonehenge or in a field of flowers, human beings need to find a place to commune with nature in order to be grounded, so that we can afford to launch a spiritual pilgrimage. It is only by becoming a part of the sacredness of nature that one may unearth his spiritual self. It is there waiting for the transformation.</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, M.D. is the author of, <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1">The Art of Serenity</a></em></p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200911/nature-is-transformative#comments Philosophy Spirituality birds of the air delphi greece different cultures flower garden gracious guests harmony with nature Joseph Campbell lilies of the field love natural teacher personal transformation psychotherapy river ganges india sacred scripture small miracle spiritual literacy stellar distances temple at delphi water into wine wendell berry western wall zen master Wed, 04 Nov 2009 21:15:29 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 34510 at http://www.psychologytoday.com Look Back http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200910/look-back <p>John Wheeler, an eminent physicist, wrote, "The past, the present, and the future are all unreal as independent entities, but real as a unity." This recognition should tame our preoccupation with "now," our agony of the past as well as anxiety about the future. A patient's attempt at denial of the importance of the past and the future is a way of defending against anxiety. In return this anxiety deprives one of living in the present. The patient couldn't get beyond his mind.</p><p>The German philosopher Ernst Block has this epitaph on his gravestone in Tübingen: <em>Denken heist überschreiten</em>, "To think is to go beyond," which means recognizing and going beyond the frontiers of thinking. The mind can relate only to what it can sense and touch, smell what gives scent, hear what makes sound, and see what is visually present. It can abstract and extrapolate, intellectualize and speculate. All this exists within the mind-made concept of time and space. If we look for things that can be seen, that is what we will see. If we look for things that cannot be seen, beyond the concept of time and space, beyond the enclosure of the mind, then the revelation of unity will come to embrace us with serenity.</p><p>Some people fear not only that precious time will be wasted in looking back, but that even a quick glance is a diverting form of sentimentalism or, worse, that such backward looking may paralyze the person and leave him frozen in time. A patient even cited the common misinterpretation of the story of Lot's wife to give weight to his argument: When God destroyed the sinful cities of Sodom and Gomorrah, he permitted Lot and his wife to flee on the condition that they not look back. But Lot's wife did look back, and she was instantly turned into a pillar of salt. He dismissed the alternative explanation: Maybe it was the torrent of her tears, her grief over her loss of the past, that turned her to salt.</p><p>Those who do not look back deprive themselves of continuity with their own past, which forms the present. Our early relationships live in our current ones, even though we may not be conscious of them. Our present moods, thoughts, and feelings have a real a priori basis. It is known that our personal unconscious is formed with our own specific circumstances in life and powerfully influences most of our behavior. There is another, less well known but equally if not more powerful unconscious we all have: the archetypal-the collective-unconscious. It is multigenerational, inherited, and tribal. Together the personal unconscious and the collective unconscious form an individual's specific unconscious.</p><p>The artchetypal unconscious is inherited in two ways. The first is the genetic one, through the direct incorporation of cell memories of previous generations. The genetically imprinted material passes from our ancestors to us through lineage. The "genetic" transmission in the memories of the unconscious is not limited to the actual passing of genes. Even through the transplantation of cells, one can acquire such memories. In fact, some transplant patients have reported a remarkable experience after having received a donated organ, such as a heart, liver, or kidney. Without knowing anything about the organ donor, they begin to participate in his or her memories!<br />The second form of archetypal inheritance is the tribal one, perpetuated through our myths. Some expand to the whole of humankind. Such mythical transmission of unconscious knowledge, experience, and memories is a collective source of the human psyche. At times only this archetypal perspective can deal with questions that are insoluble at the individual level.</p><p>Therapists frequently are puzzled and frustrated by the lack of success in their work with some patients, who may diligently regress, discover repressed early personal experiences and work through the conflicts of some of their personal unconscious but still maintain the symptoms and behaviors that brought them to therapy. This is because they haven't dealt with their archetypal unconscious. The archetypal unconscious always preempts the personal unconscious.</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1"><em>The Art of Serenity</em></a></p><p>&nbsp;</p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200910/look-back#comments Philosophy Spirituality agony concept of time continuity eminent physicist epitaph frontiers german philosopher gravestone heist independent entities john wheeler lot and his wife love misinterpretation pillar of salt precious time preoccupation psychotherapy sentimentalism serenity sodom time and space Wed, 28 Oct 2009 17:55:47 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 34224 at http://www.psychologytoday.com Facing the World with Soul http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200910/facing-the-world-soul <p>One does not lose one's self by conviviality-living together with other beings and things-in fact, one can only find one's self in it. In his famous essay "Self-Reliance," Ralph Waldo Emerson says: "For the sense of being which in calm hours rises, we know not how, in the soul, is not diverse from things, from space, from light, from time, from man, but one with them and proceeds obviously from the same source." The subjective sense of self is best experienced by being part of a greater choir, by blurring or blending of boundaries between human and animal, or between animals and vegetation, light and space. Natural scientists agree with the Aristotelian thesis of a great "chain of being" that connects all classes of living things (as well as nonliving things) along a gradual progression of differences.</p><p>From animals, to vegetation, to earth, and to air, all is continuous and homogeneous. This homogeneity is not just a matter of form but goes to the essence, just as water becomes homogeneous with earth in the plant. The world and everything in it are close or distant relatives. In Robert Sardello's recent book <em>Facing the World with Soul</em>, he says that our bodies reflect the body of the world. In this sense, the human body is a universal body. Our cells correspond to the particles of the environment. Molecules that make up a human body, a tree, and a river are very similar. As we eat fruits, vegetables, fish, chicken and mammals, they become part of us. Our muscles, skin, hearts, and brains are developed and maintained by what we eat. Ultimate processing and DNA differentiations are variations of the same existence. We are part of nature, no different from a bird being part of nature. At the natural end of life, our disintegrated remains have the same chemical components. We start with two mobile cell donations, and we end with millions of immobile ones. Although our ultimate shape is predetermined by the genes contained in these two original cells, the substance that sustains our spectacular growth comes from the environment. "We are what we eat" is literally correct, plus the two original cells.</p><p>Even illnesses are part of the universe. In their new science of Darwinian medicine, Drs. Randolph M. Nesse and George C. Williams suggest that diseases do not result from random or malevolent forces but ultimately arise from past natural selection. Moreover, perhaps paradoxically, the same capacities that benefit humans can also make them vulnerable. The authors give the example of autoimmune disease and its remarkable ability to confer benefits as well as endanger the body. Aging and death also are not random but rather are compromises struck by natural selection to maximize the transmission of our genes. One may find a gentle satisfaction, even a bit of meaning, from attributing the significance of our individual existences to a larger reference point: nature. Joyful and graceful life derives from the recognition, appreciation, and celebration of this unity.</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of <em><a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1">The Art of Serenity</a></em></p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200910/facing-the-world-soul#comments Philosophy Spirituality chemical components distant relatives facing the world fruits vegetables genes homogeneity human body light and space love mammals mobile cell molecules natural scientists nonliving things psychotherapy ralph waldo emerson robert sardello self reliance ralph waldo emerson sense of self subjective sense universal body vegetation Wed, 21 Oct 2009 15:36:24 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 33975 at http://www.psychologytoday.com Boundless Communion http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200910/boundless-communion <p>Here are two poems, one from an ancient Welsh text, the other from a Sufi poet, thousands of miles and decades away from each other, revealing that same mystery of being in communion with the world.<em></em></p><p><em>I am the wind that breathes upon the sea,<br />I am the wave on the ocean,<br />I am the murmur of leaves rustling,<br />I am the rays of the sun,<br />I am the beam of the moon and stars,<br />I am the power of trees growing,<br />I am the bud breaking into blossom,<br />I am the movement of the salmon swimming,<br />I am the courage of the wild boar fighting,<br />I am the speed of the stag running,<br />I am the strength of the ox pulling the plough,<br />I am the size of the mighty oak,<br />And I am the thoughts of all people,<br />Who praise my beauty and grace.</em><br />--"The Black Book of Carmathan"</p><p><em>I am dust particles in sunlight.<br />I am the round sun.<br />I am morning mist, and the breathing of evening.<br />I am wind in the top of a grove,<br />And surf on the cliff.<br />Mast, rudder, helmsman, and keel,<br />I am also the coral reef they founder on.<br />I am a tree with a trained parrot in its branches.<br />Silence, thought, and voice.<br />The musical air coming through a flute, a spark of a stone,<br /> a flickering<br />in metal. Both candle, and the moth crazy around it.<br />Rose, and the nightingale lost in the fragrance.<br />I am all orders of being, the circling galaxy, and the falling <br /> away.<br />What is, and what isn't. You who know<br />Jalālu'l-Din, You the one <br />in all, say who <br />I am, Say I <br />am You</em>.<br /> --Jalālu'l-Dīn Rūmi</p><p>In the ancient image, a drop of water in the ocean is indistinguishable from any other drop. The ocean exists only<em> in conviviu</em>m (living together) with all the drops. With humans, conviviality requires some degree of sacrifice of one's self-centeredness and joining as part of the communal life. It means focusing not on one's own success but that of the community at large, striving to own things not individually but commonly. That means investing one's energy and resources in communal properties, such as parks, museums, forests, lakes, clean air and water supplies. IT means appreciating simply life, honoring virtues, promoting a measure of asceticism in the large sense of the world and, yes, even as simple an act as recycling. We do have extraordinary examples of such convivialtity by a number of individuals who would not consider themselves more than ordinary: Robert F. Kennedy, Jr., and John Cronin, Susan Seacrest, and Veer Bhadra Misha's fights to protect the world's waterways from being polluted: Mary Barley's work to save the Everglades from human plunder; Christine Jean's attempts to establish an estuary to harbor wildlife; David Kopenawa Yanomami's effort in the Amazon.</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1"><em>The Art of Serenity</em></a></p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200910/boundless-communion#comments Philosophy Spirituality air and water ancient image beauty and grace communal life coral reef drop of water dust particles helmsman love moon and stars morning mist murmur psychotherapy rays of the sun rudder self centeredness sufi poet two poems water in the ocean water supplies welsh text wild boar Wed, 14 Oct 2009 18:37:26 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 33736 at http://www.psychologytoday.com The Spiritual Healing http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200910/the-spiritual-healing <p>The human mind can heal itself and the body naturally, provided that the mind makes room for the spirit to coexist with it. The healer, therefore, would help the patient to heal himself by simply helping him commune with the spiritual nature. Paracelsus, the great sixteenth-century Swiss healer said, "The physician is only the servant of nature, not her master." Similarly, the healer's role is not to impose upon nature but to observe, to appreciate, to witness, and to commune with.</p><p>Those who are impoverished in their spiritual world tend deep down to have a depressive disposition. They steadily spew out anger and disapproval, and chant criticism filled with pessimism and ingratitude. The psychologist Timothy Miller purposely rewords a famous song in order to express such negative sentiment:</p><p><em>I see hungry kids and hopeless men-And futile wars<br />No one can win,<br />And I think to myself-What a terrible world.</em></p><p>This is contrasted with Bob Thiele's and George David Weiss's first cadenza of their original song, "What a Wonderful World," which portrays sacred optimism, evoking gratitude in everyday living:</p><p><em>I hear babies cry, I watch them grow.<br />They'll learn much more than I'll ever know:<br />And I think to myself-What a wonderful world.</em></p><p>It is the same world, but perceived with two very different views. Miller tells us how to deal with this contrast in his book <em>How to Want What you Have</em>. When you are chronically pessimistic, negativistic, and ungrateful, he recommends that you take another look at the world. If you purge yourself of resentment, envy, or disappointment, you will find something to be grateful about. Such gratitude can be as obvious as being thankful for being fed, feeling warm, and being loved or as subtle as appreciating the small delights of nature. Gratitude may not naturally come to us because we seem to take for granted what we have. In fact, we seem always to be wanting more than we have. Miller suggests a simple practice of picking an object in your immediate surroundings and seeing "if you find a way that it might evoke gratitude."</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1">The Art of Serenity</a></p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200910/the-spiritual-healing#comments Philosophy Spirituality bob thiele cadenza chant disapproval everyday living george david weiss gratitude healer hungry kids ingratitude look at the world love negative sentiment original song pessimism pspychotherapy resentment song what a wonderful world spiritual nature spiritual world timothy miller what a wonderful world Wed, 07 Oct 2009 14:28:24 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 33573 at http://www.psychologytoday.com Enlightenment is Simplicity http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/enlightenment-is-simplicity <p>Only what happens to you is your sacred teacher, follow the observation of Berrien Berends, whether you get old, lose a loved one, or become ill. The secret, Berends says, is to learn to sit at the feet of your life and be taught. That means being constantly alert to your experience and always being receptive to life's teachings. Even in ordinary living, never mind for such Job-like sufferings, no one is really an expert. A good teacher sometimes knows that he has nothing to say. The best teaching emanates from what happens to the teacher and how he lives. That is why in a famous Hasidic tale of how to teach-and learn-a disciple goes to see his Rebbe not to hear what he has to say but to watch closely how he ties his shoelaces.</p><p>Self-healing through enlightenment is not a highly complicated, mystical or philosophical achievement. It is a return to the simplicity of life. Transcendence isn't a supernatural striving but a potentially natural occurrence. Yet, by our psychologizing, interpreting, and medicating attitude, we treat ourselves as objects. Even our ordinary physical acts are laced with many unnatural layers. We don't simply eat, we dine, we have power lunches, we balance our diet. We don't simply sleep, we want REM, we want to record our dreams and bring them for interpretation. We don't simply have sex, we want to make a statement with sex, a commitment or its avoidance, we send messages through sex, we want to exercise power, display superiority or rejection. No wonder we frequently have problems in eating, sleeping, and making love.</p><p>No therapy, no medication, and no meditation returns to us our natural existence unless we stop searching or imposing meanings on our bodily functions. All these visceral functions are regulated by the "old" part of the brain, the subcortical system. The intrusion of the human mind, the cortical system, into visceral activities generates turmoil, not enlightenment. <em>The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying</em> tells this Zen story:</p><p><em>The disciple asked his Master:<br />"Master, how do you put enlightenment into action?"<br />"By eating and by sleeping," answered the master:<br />The disciple was perplexed. "But Master, everybody sleeps and everybody eats."<br />To this the Master replied, "But not everybody eats when they eat, and not everybody sleeps when they sleep."</em></p><p>This kind of spiritual simplicity isn't an extraordinary occurrence belonging only to Zen masters. In <em>The Tibetan Book of Living and Dying</em>, such enlightenment is described as "something not exotic, not fantastic, not for an elite, but for all of humanity...it is unexpectedly ordinary. Spiritual truth is not something elaborate and esoteric, it is in fact profound common sense...It is not being some omnipotent spiritual superman, but becoming at last a true human being." In this sense, it is no wonder that Buddhist tradition calls the nature of mind "the wisdom of ordinariness." Yes, our true nature and the nature of all beings is not something unreal and out of reach. The irony is that it is our so-called ordinary and real world that is extraordinary and fantastic.</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1">The Art of Serenity</a></p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/enlightenment-is-simplicity#comments Philosophy Spirituality avoidance bodily functions disciple enlightenment intrusion love making love natural occurrence physical acts power lunches psychotherapy rebbe rejection self healing shoelaces sufferings superiority tibetan book transcendence turmoil visceral functions zen story Wed, 30 Sep 2009 14:32:13 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 33386 at http://www.psychologytoday.com Pain Inflicted on the Wound http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/pain-inflicted-the-wound <p><em>There is only one thing I dread: Not to be <br />worthy of my suffering.</em></p><p>--Viktor E. Frankl</p><p>We do not know what is being healed with sufferings, says Gary Zukav in the <em>Seat of the Soul</em>. Each person who comes through this world is called upon, at some time or other, to bear some of the weight of the pain that befalls the world. To assist in carrying this pain a little farther for others is a precious calling, although it may also be experienced as a difficult or isolating time in one's life. In <em>Eternal Echoes</em> John O'Donohue tells of a subtle brightening that resides behind that darkness as he explains the meaning of the Cross in Christianity, and enduring symbol of the transfiguration of pain. Both pain and darkness were carried up the hill of Calvary so that they could face the new dawn of Resurrection and become transfigured. In this sense, the Cross and the Resurrection are united. One does not succeed the other in time or space. Rather, the Resurrection can be viewed as the inner light that remains hidden at the heart of darkness in the Cross. In Christian terms, there is no way to light or glory except by passage through the dark weight of the Cross.</p><p>Suffering is the shadow of divine light, and its embedded divinity inspires the ultimate harmony. One's progress from pain to harmony and darkness to light is found in the celebrated allegory of the cave in Plato's <em>Republic</em>. The myth starts with a somber portrayal of the human condition. Men sit in the darkness of a cave, their backs to the light, able to see only shadows on the wall they face. When one of the men turns around, he sees no objects but the light itself, the light that has cast their shadows.</p><p><em>Some old traditions say that no man is adult until he has become opened to the soul and spirit world, and they say that such an opening is done by a wound in the right place, at the right time, in the right company. A wound allows the spirit or soul to enter.</em></p><p>--Robert Bly</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1">The Art of Serenity</a></p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/pain-inflicted-the-wound#comments Philosophy Spirituality allegory of the cave byram darkness to light divine light divinity eternal echoes gary zukav harmony one heart of darkness john o donohue karasu love new dawn portrayal psychotherapy right place at the right time seat of the soul shadows on the wall soul and spirit spirit world sufferings transfiguration Thu, 24 Sep 2009 18:00:57 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 33219 at http://www.psychologytoday.com God of Saturn http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/god-saturn <p>In ancient Greece, depression was identified with the god Saturn. If a young person got depressed, he was called a child of Saturn, and he was believed to have suffered an aging of his soul. Otherwise, every adult eventually would reach a natural Saturn-the melancholy of the loss of youth. The vitality and sensuality of everyday life with its colorful existence would fade away, and the older person would carry a dignified halo of sacred melancholy around him, not unlike the rings of the planet Saturn.</p><p>Those who do not come to terms with their age may get away with it for a few years. Eventually, however, disappointments, rejection, and even ridicule will mercilessly tear down the fantasy of eternal youth, making holes in one's assumptions and illusions, and generating fears bordering on panic and fragmentation.</p><p>My father once told me an amusing but painful story about Jean-Paul Sartre's encounter with his own aging. Sartre was known as a flirt and a womanizer. Throughout his youth he lived as a ladies' man. His activities, including his numerous writings, all were subordinated to his interest in women. He would accept or refuse speaking arrangements not on the basis of whether the audience would be intellectually challenging, or whether the fee was high enough, but on the basis of whether it would be largely a female audience, and more so, whether the talk, was organized in such a way that he would be able to intermingle with them socially before or after the talk, and, hopefully, seduce one or two. Even though physically he was not an attractive man, most women responded to his seductions, and he had many affairs. He never stopped chasing women. Unless he was loved by the last woman he wanted, he felt unlovable. Thus, he was in a chronic state of pursuing women, always anxious in anticipation and depressed afterward, regardless of the outcome. As he was aging, his preoccupation with desirability intensified. One day in Paris, as he entered a crowded bus, he saw a young woman sitting in the front. He elbowed himself toward her. For a moment as he got the young woman's glance, he felt encouraged and struggled with other passengers on his way to her. Finally, when he was next to her, the young woman stood up and gave her seat to him.</p><p>If one doesn't age gracefully, one will age embarrassingly. Acceptance of aging brings with it a ripe sadness and a light anxiety, validating the losses that have already occurred. Denial of aging brings a raw depression and a dark anxiety, invalidating one's self. The feeling of melancholy with its slowly maturing influence will bring out the depth and flavor of one's character. One does not have a choice with aging, but one has the choice of either suffering from it or enjoying its benefits. These benefits are difference from those of youthful years; nevertheless, they are there. The only alternative is the starvation that comes from inconsolable yearning for one's youthfulness.</p><p>The melancholy of aging gives weight and density to one's personality. It distills the various lifelong experiences into a meaningful whole, giving them a firm grounding. It allows one's thoughts, beliefs, and values to coalesce into a life philosophy. The frightening, immense emptiness that melancholy seems to carve out in one's soul is transitory, and it is a preparatory stage for the sacredness of aging, which will fill a much larger space.</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1">The Art of Serenity</a></p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/god-saturn#comments Philosophy Spirituality ancient greece attractive man child of saturn chronic state day in paris disappointments eternal youth female audience jean paul sartre ladies man last woman melancholy natural saturn planet saturn preoccupation ridicule seductions sensuality womanizer young person Wed, 16 Sep 2009 18:05:19 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 32952 at http://www.psychologytoday.com Symptoms Are The Sacred Signals http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/symptoms-are-the-sacred-signals <p><em>Under the black earth,<br />I saw hands that arranged roses.</em></p><p>-- Yunus Emre</p><p>In psychotherapy the patient is expected to understand his conflicts and his deficits as they relate to his life, and to identify and uproot them. The symptoms the patient experiences are considered the manifestations of these conflicts and deficits. These symptoms are to be cured by working them through via the insights gained in the process of psychotherapy. There is no question that a large segment of psychological problems lend themselves to such exploration and resolution. There are other schools of psychotherapy that may emphasize, to various degrees, emotional or cognitive or behavioral changes, and by their differing techniques attempt to bring about "cures." The most common are sufferings of patients who present themselves with anxiety and/or depression, the anxiety as a fear of impending disaster, the depression as the result of a previous disaster, real or fantasized. There are, of course many other symptoms, ranging from sexual dysfunctions to physiological disturbances, from phobias to obsessions, from low self-esteem to grandiosity. In one fashion or another, nonetheless, anxiety and/or depression come along with the other symptoms.</p><p>Listening to Prozac (or Valium) notwithstanding, most therapists try to figure out what causes these symptoms and provide a curative program based on their training and experience, as well as their concept of the patient as a psychophysiological entity. What get lost in the process, though, even if the symptoms are "fixed." Are the <em>signals</em>, the messages that the symptoms are conveying. Frequently these messages contain seeds of spiritual troubles, extraordinary messages from the depths of one's psyche, that one may be on the wrong track, in the wrong profession, in the wrong relations, in the wrong town, even in the wrong house.</p><p>In our culture, symptoms tend to imply something bad. The word <em>symptom</em> itself, however, merely means a combination (sym) of accidental happenings that together form a signal of a larger happening, which is inherently related to the larger context. In this way, we can look at a symptom less anxiously, and more simply, as a <em>phenomenon</em> (a word that meant, originally, something that shows, shines, lights up, brightens, or appears to be seen). In James Hillman's words, "A symptom wants to be looked at, not only looked into." A restructuring of perception is what doctors are therefore urged to do, in a light that shifts the valences from curse to blessing.</p><p>Battle with an illness generates a certain strength previously unknown to the person afflicted and often changes him so drastically that his intimates are so surprised they may ask themselves, "Is this the same person I knew?" His self becomes transformed to such a degree that he could have a different identity, a different name. In fact, there is a belief among the Inuits that when you fall ill your usual name leaves you. Similarly, Jacob wrestled with the forced (the angel) that inflicted serious wounds on him. Although he limped from the scene, he had been given, in Homeric terms an enabling wound and received a new name, "Israel, the God wrestler."</p><p>"You have no idea of the depths of my ignorance, Doctor, and there is no user's guide that comes with life." A patient pleaded. "Is there anything, psychologically I mean, that I should be doing or thinking? Please give me an unconscious hand." A healer may name the illness from its symptoms and make them visible to his patient, but the signals of the symptoms are delivered only to the recipient.</p><p>The lending hand of a healer could lighten the burden of the patient, especially if he is already a weight-carrying member of the spiritual community. But, ultimately, the person must first shift the valence of his life from suffering to calling.</p><p>In the tragedy <em>Macbeth</em>, Shakespeare writes:</p><p>Macbeth: How does your patient?<br />Doctor: Not so sick my Lord,<br /> As she is troubled with thick-coming fancies,<br /> That keep her from the rest.<br />Macbeth: Cure her of that;<br /> Canst thou not minister to a mind diseased;<br /> Pluck from the memory a rooted sorrow;<br /> Raze out the written troubles of the brain;<br /> And with some oblivious antidote,<br /> Cleanse the stuffed bosom of that perilous stuff<br /> Which weighs upon the heart.<br />Doctor: Therein the patient must minister to himself.</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1">The Art of Serenity</a></p><p>&nbsp;</p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/symptoms-are-the-sacred-signals#comments Philosophy Spirituality anxiety behavioral changes black earth conflicts impending disaster listening to prozac low self esteem manifestations obsessions patient experiences Phobias prozac psyche psychological problems psychotherapy seeds sexual dysfunctions sufferings sym Valium Fri, 11 Sep 2009 13:33:37 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 32788 at http://www.psychologytoday.com Religion as an Order of Community http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/religion-order-community <p>Religion shapes and animates our great steps from birth to death, as well as the little steps of everyday life. We then spontaneously fit our daily experience into that spiritual order. The word <em>religion</em> derives from the same Latin root as the word <em>ligament</em>, which means "to bind." Religion binds us to each other.</p><p>The contemporary culture, by putting less and less faith in tradition, thrusts us back upon our own resources. The individual is left bereft and can rely only on him- or herself. In his study of existential philosophy, William Barrett has described the plight of "irrational man":</p><p><em>Thus with the modern period, man...has entered upon a secular phase of his history. He entered it with exuberance over the prospect of increased power he would have over the world around him,...found himself homeless....Religion, before this phase set in, had been a structure that encompassed man's life, providing him with a system of images and symbols by which he could express his own aspirations toward psychic wholeness. With the loss of this containing framework man became not only a dispossessed but a fragmentary being.</em></p><p>For such a fragmented person, "I" experiences everything as external. As Robert Pirsig's <em>Zen and the Art of Motorcycle Maintenance</em> describes, he is here but he's not here. He rejects the here, is unhappy with it, and wants to be farther up the trail. When he gets there, however, he will be just as unhappy because then it will be "here." What he's looking for, what he wants, is all around him, but he doesn't want that simply because it is all around him. Every step is an effort, both physically and spiritually, because he imagines his goal to be external and distant. For wholeness, the goal is internal and effortless; it is being home with one's homegrown myths and rituals-not merely experiencing <em>I</em> in relation to it, but being it.</p><p>Faith is an experience of being gripped by meaning that becomes a paradigm for one's way of life. Religion provides such a ready-made paradigm, for it is difficult for an individual to formulate personal one. A shared worldview is much more likely to facilitate an identity of a Being, embodying the spiritual power belonging to the group. The individual, only thus transformed, is capable of differentiating himself from the group in order to redefine his self and his faith.</p><p>As communities restructured their authority through secular systems, religious congregations performed the role of communal glue-a shared belief system serving to offer cohesiveness of relationships. In the wise words of Rabbi Harold Kushner, "One goes to a religious service, one recites the traditional prayers, not in order to find God (there are plenty of other places where He can be found), but to find a congregation, to find people with whom you can share that which means the most to you."</p><p>Kushner says that storyteller Harry Golden makes this point in one of his stories. When he was young, he asked his father, "If you don't believe in God, why do you go to synagogue so regularly?" His father answered, "Jews go to synagogue for all sorts of reasons. My friend Garfinkle, who is Orthodox, goes to talk to God. I go to talk to Garfinkle." The Tree of Kabbala portrays its growth having roots in heaven. Therefore, only by growing down can one grow up.</p><p>T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of <a href="http://www.amazon.com/Art-Serenity-Joyful-Worst-Times/dp/0743228316/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1?ie=UTF8&amp;s=books&amp;qid=1234986860&amp;sr=8-1">The Art of Serenity</a></p> http://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/the-mystery-happiness/200909/religion-order-community#comments Social Life Spirituality aspirations contemporary culture existential philosophy exuberance homegrown images and symbols increased power irrational man latin root ligament little steps modern period own resources plight psychic wholeness robert pirsig thrusts william barrett word religion zen and the art of motorcycle maintenance Thu, 03 Sep 2009 21:01:23 +0000 T. Byram Karasu, M.D. 32571 at http://www.psychologytoday.com