Once they are married, people often feel the need to improve their spouse. That "need" is usually rationalized by saying it's for "your own good." And while there may be some truth in the concern, the benefit from your observation is usually undone by your criticism. There is one thing you can be sure of: whatever you reject as "imperfect" in your spouse will not be changed. If anything, your rejection will only perpetuate the perceived shortcomings. If there is a genuinely undesirable aspect of your loved one's behavior, your rejection must be directed to that specific matter, never generalized; you can identify or comment on self-destructive behavior in your spouse while accepting and loving him or her. There is no stronger incentive to change than being accepted by a loved one. If you keep criticizing your spouse, he or she will stop sharing inner thoughts and emotions with you. Pointing out someone's "imperfections" injures the soul, and the injured soul tends to hide its wounds. Your spouse will become a performer, an inauthentic person acting the role you've designated for him or her, in compliance with your demands. You will have won the battle for surface changes, but you will have lost your spouse on a deeper plane because an inauthentic person cannot relate to you in a genuine manner.