When good things happen, you rarely wonder about the source of your fortune. You may attribute your success to your intelligence, determination, hard work, and, occasionally, to luck. In fact, life's good fortune-with family, at work, in health, in creative activities-is the reflection of how well aligned your soul is with the Spirit.
But when bad things happen, you search for the source of your misfortune. "My God, my God, why...?" Is the cry of every human being faced with suffering. You attribute your failure to your life circumstances and to your bad luck. Inevitably, you will make some changes in your circumstances. However, life's misfortunes are signs of a misaligned soul. Don't curse your bad luck or accuse others of bad faith; instead read your misfortune as a sign of the need to realign your soul with the Spirit. At times, such alignment occurs in an unexpected moment and by a quantum leap. At other times it happens through a steady and deliberate effort of prayer, contemplation, and discussion with your spiritual fellows. You can get wet in a torrent of rain or in a slow drizzle.
Direct spiritual failings-the commission of sinful acts-often pass unrecognized because there always are extenuating elements that explain them away. Complaining, blaming, accusing, and arguing are the most common indirect manifestations of spiritual failure. The Bible says, Do everything without complaining or arguing. (Phil. 2:14)
Furthermore, it is useless to complain, argue, or blame, for these activities rarely bring the desired results. A squeaky wheel may get oiled, but if it goes on squeaking it will get replaced. No one likes complainers and blamers, even when the complaints are justified. People tend to stay clear of complainers because they put the listeners into an awkward position: should the listener try to solve the problem or be quietly empathic? Should one comment if there are distortions or misunderstandings in the blamer's story, or even challenge the blamer's irrationality? A listener also may see him or herself as a future target of blame and try to avoid contact with the blamer. Eventually the blamers become isolated, and the isolation further impoverishes their souls.
Do your best at work or in a relationship; that is all that is expected of you. From then on you're in God's hands. If you must complain, complain to God. If you want to blame someone, you may blame God. He will not be offended nor will He withdraw His affection. "Why does God allow disasters to happen to me when He is supposed to love me?" you may ask. Well, God's love has different manifestations, which may, at times, take the form of disaster.
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T. Byram Karasu, M.D. is the author of The Spirit of Happiness
