Excessive assertion of a philosophy of self interferes with belonging, and excessive expression of relational philosophy forfeits individuality; we have to keep both in check. Deep down we all want to belong through our own individual and cultural ways. Hagao Kawai describes how two speakers' opening statements to an audience from different cultures-Eastern and Western-highlight their attempt for union: The Japanese, he says, speak with apologies, whereas Americans like to begin with a joke. But these two approaches aim at the same result: to belong. "When people in Japan gather in one place, they share a feeling of unity, regardless of whether they have known each other before or not. One should not stand alone, separated from others. Therefore, when one becomes a speaker, one has to apologize, asserting that one is in no way different from others. In the West, however, even though people come together in one place, each person is separate from the others, as an individual. Therefore, when one becomes a speaker, he or she likes to begin with a joke, enabling all the people there, by laughing together, to experience a feeling of oneness."