If one's selfhood and self-worth are closely associated with possessions, one sees a frantic search for acquisition, as desire is trapped within the unsatisfied self-a sort of psychological infection. As a consequence, the soul's needs can at best become expressed in a host of compromises, in which spiritual growth is stunted.
Unfortunately, as the philosopher Henri Bergson says, the human intellect feels at home among inanimate objects, especially in a culture of action, industry, and tools. The battle for the soul has to be not buttressed by objects but arrived at by objectlessness.
Modern culture is deeply lonely. This is partly because we are attached to things and detached from people. There is no satiety in possessing things, because they do not fill the psychological vacuum. In fact, the more one acquires things, the deeper the hole gets, to such a degree that no "things" can fill it. John of the Cross proposes:
To come to possess all
Desire the possession of nothing.
To arrive at being all
Desire to be nothing.
To come to the knowledge of all
Desire the knowledge of nothing....
To come to be what you are not
You must go by a way in which you are not.
Of course, one need not go to such extremes to have a soulful life. There is a balance. Only excessive attachment to and desire for things interfere with the devotion that is required for intimate relationships and a soulful existence.
As much as a relative detachment from things is needed to enrich the soul, any detachment from intimates would impoverish it. From infancy until death, we draw our strength from our relations and, in return, give strength to them. From youth to old age-from rocking horse to rocking chair-friendship is what keeps teaching us about being human, writes the cultural observer Letty Cottin Pogrebin. The intimate sharing of ideas and ideals, empathic support that is deeply felt and caring, enduring admiration and fidelity reach the shores of our soul. From childhood pals to adult mentors and friends, special individuals draw out the best that is in us (and we in them), as together we and they are witnessed to our self-discoveries and soulful unfolding.
T. Byram Karasu, MD is the author of The Art o
f Serenity
