The African tale said it all! I would agree with the fact that the majority of marriages fail because either A) The two seperate individuals work so much on growing together than they forget the fact the individually they must grow and adapt as well or B) The individuals focus too much on themselves and not enough on the "togetherness". Just as Socrates said there must be a healthy mean for being just or being generous, the same kind of concept (whether correct or not) actually can be applied to marriage. There has to be a healthy median between the growth of the two people together and the growth of the individual person. And if both people individually are growing in the same direction, then growing together should be a breeze.

thanks for the useful advice