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Bam! Bam! The police were called July 23rd, 2008 after the second shot. Soon after, Keith Walendowski of Milwaukee, Wisconsin was arrested for discharging a sawed-off shot gun at his ex. His victim was not human, but was his aging lawnmower that had failed to start one time too many.
Now at least half of you reading this are nodding your heads. Evolutionary psychologist David M. Buss, in his book The Murderer Next Door: Why the Mind Is Designed to Kill (Penguin, 2006), revealed that 91% of men and 84% of women in six different cultures have had vivid murderous fantasies. By that, he means that for a second or two, these people thought of using murder to remove that inane boss who constantly diminishes your work, or to deep-six a romantic rival. Although sometimes people do act on these fantasies, most of us dismiss them as wrong, or impractical, or disgusting.
So what was Keith Walendowski thinking? First, some background. Mr. Walendowski is 56 years old and living in his mother's basement. He was drinking (of course!). I couldn't find this from the news reports, but I'm guessing he has no wife or nearby kids-check out his mug shot; not a great catch for most women I would think. So, just run of the mill pathology enhanced by alcohol, right? Maybe not.
If you've been reading The Moral Molecule, you'll no doubt guess that the behavior of the Lawnmower Man has something to do with oxytocin. As I described in an earlier article, the human oxytocin system is particularly hungry and fuzzy. By hungry I mean it is constantly looking for attachment targets. But is also fuzzy-it doesn't discriminate well between targets.
Now some secrets from the man cave: guys love tools. I mean really love them, including lawnmowers. Without other attachment figures (a girlfriend, kids, or a dog), Walendowski's oxytoin system may have viewed his lawnmower like a lover. You start her up, she hums along, even eliciting the occasional squeal when she hits a dirt patch. But, she clearly wasn't faithful to him, often rebuffing his advances, "too tired" to start up. We don't know how many times she failed him, but this was the last.
Oxytocin is a powerful motivator for behavior, both caring and aggressive. It causes us to engage with strangers and treat them like friends. It causes us to care for our children and form bonds with mates. It can make us care about, and care for, those outside our own species like dogs, cats, guinea pigs, and injured baby birds. And even lawnmowers.
Reconciliation is unlikely. Walendowski is facing six years in jail for discharging an illegal weapon. And regarding his lawnmower, Dick Wagner of Wagner's Garden Mart, said "Anything not factory recommended would void the warranty."
Interestingly, there is a move circulating on the internet to celebrate Walendowski and his heroic stand against unfaithful tools everywhere. It seems there is a groundswell of those who have had murderous fantasies about lawnmowers. This is oxytocin in overdrive, empathizing with the aggrieved aggressor.
If you must see a lawnmower being shot, see this very short clip
In a future article, I'll discuss why oxytocin makes us moral.
