The Mindful Self-Express

The mind-body experiment.

The Six Best Ways to Decrease Your Anxiety

We all know the uncomfortable feeling of anxiety. Our hearts race, our fingers sweat, and our breathing gets shallow and labored. We experience racing thoughts about a perceived threat that we think is too much to handle. That's because our "fight or flight" response has kicked in, resulting in sympathetic arousal and a narrowing of attention and focus on avoiding the threat. Read More

anxiety issues

i don't know what to do i feel the tension building strongly. i haven't done anything tangible on my project work my exam is tomorrow and i cant concentrate well enough to study for it. i have to submit the first three chapters of my project work un the next five days i don't know how possible this is ,i don't know where to start. i already feel like a failure.please help i'm at the verg of breaking down.

anxiety issues

i don't know what to do i feel the tension building strongly. i haven't done anything tangible on my project work my exam is tomorrow and i cant concentrate well enough to study for it. i have to submit the first three chapters of my project work un the next five days i don't know how possible this is ,i don't know where to start. i already feel like a failure.please help i'm at the verg of breaking down.

Joyce, When I was in college,


When I was in college, I would often be in this situation. I believe that I sometimes procrastinated in order to create the sense of urgency I needed to get motivated.

I don't know if that's your case, but you are in an urgent situation now.

Follow the advice from the artical and I will add that you should just throw a dart at the task and start wherever you are ready to start.

I think that for me, the problem was literally not knowing where to start. You don't always have to start at the beginning.

One trick I used was to lay everything out on a table. Then I would dress in business attire to feel professional and to remind myself of my ultimate goal.

I know that sounds a little weird, but it worked for me. I felt like a professional on task rather than a student performing a task.

Lastly, don't catastrophize! In the work world you will be expected to handle difficult situations--here's your chance to test your mettle.

I hope some of that helps.


In an emergency anxiety situation, the one thing that works fastest and best for me is to stop thinking. I believe some people mediate this way, attempting to stop thoughts from "coming into their heads". Maybe this is what some people call the "freeze" response.

omg,let me list the REAL best

omg,let me list the REAL best ways to reduce anxiety.
2-another ativan
3-a drink
4-anothe drink
6-calling a friend and talking about every little thing tat is making you anxious.

and i think there is a difference between not studying/preparing for a school exam, and things like a you or someone you love being in mortal danger, losing your job in down sizing and your financial welfare crumbling, etc. no offense, but the biggest thing you have to worry about ^^ is retaking the test or starting over. if its not going to matter in 5 years; IT DOESN"T MATTER.

Hard drugs are a terrible

Hard drugs are a terrible answer to anxiety... they can be used for short periods in special cases, but as a habit they are too bad. Cannabis is safe, healthy & certain strains are perfect for negating anxiety. -That 5 year rule is bogus... there are genuine, more immediate problems.

What about drugs?

Alcohol can cause anxiety (especially when coming down from it), and that dangerous drug is used so regularly by so many that commenting on not using it (or at least using little of it) seems in order on the topic of anxiety; I don't use & that is one of the reasons. Cannabis is a healthy way to decrease anxiety, in conjunction with these prescribed thought processes of course. In closing, too much caffeine can influence anxiety... drugs are a big part of life in 'the western world', so, bringing them up matters a lot.

Hey guys - I am an indecisive

Hey guys -
I am an indecisive 21 year old looking for some reflective wisdom from older readers, writers, and thinkers of the world.

My general question: what advice would you offer your 21 year old self? Money-wise, career, artistically, etc - What would you have done differently?

Thanks all readers who can take a second to reflect. Feel free to email me at or briefly visit the survey

I am going to compile some good quotes in an e-book "What Would You Do Differently at 21?" to distribute for free on my blog,

Defeating anxiety

Melanie you have given very useful & doable suggestions to kill anxiety.The last point particularly,i feel ,is very important.I missed it in my post on the same topic.Do you mind if i include it now,because i think it is very essential.
The post in question is
Thanks a lot!!


Great tips, however, I think it's important to remember that not every person will respond well to Acceptance and Commitment Therapy. While it can be effective and some individuals are quite receptive, based on the clinical picture and personality type, getting someone to accept their anxiety may exacerbate symptoms.

Dr. S

I wanted to relay something

I wanted to relay something that I have had anxiety about my entire life. I have a mole on the side of my nose, somewhat flat but very odd and seemingly out of place. I feel like I'm worthless at times and ugly and like people will stare at it or be uncomfortable around me. I know I could even have it removed and that it isn't even that noticeable and that I'm not that ugly, but for some reason I still feel weird b/c of it. My ex girlfriend was a 10/10 and I've always been able to get hot girls but this lingering self disapproval persists. I wish I could make the anxiety and fear go away and feel normal. I thought writing about it may help.

Thanks for sharing your feelings

I hope that writing about this issue was helpful to you. It may also help to consult a therapist for an evaluation as depression or anxiety may be interfering with your ability to see the big picture. The Psychology Today Directory is a good resource for finding a therapist in your area or price range.


(1) Reevaluating the probability of the threatening event actually happening
Anxiety makes us feel threat is imminent yet most of the time what we worry about never happens. By recording our worries and how many came true, we can notice how much we overestimate the prospect of negative events.

I resonate most with this one as I tend to create stories and outcomes that have not taken place yet, most of the time never do... This is a very common behavior with many people.. Thanks for sharing, Anthony

I have found the best methods

I have found the best methods are the ones that work with where anxiety comes from - the nervous system. Neuroscience has provided us with some great new information on how to work with anxiety without overriding the ANS or remaining strictly cognitive. Instead of going after it from the top down, the new research works from the bottom up and includes turning off that alarm system, decreasing the activation in the amygdala and creating new neural pathways around self soothing and resourcing with really great long term results.

Thanks for weighing in

Thank you for your comment. I think readers of this blog would be interested in a plain language description of what "bottom up" methods means. It would be great if you could provide concrete examples and resources or tools. I agree that for people with acute PTSD. somatic therapy, tapping, relaxation training,or yoga are important adjuncts to treatment.

PTSD Adult Child of alcoholism

Family PTSD Adult Child of alcoholism or of a Behavioral Disordered Family Growing up with chronic substance using parental figures is of course an experience riddled with at least covert abuse.
Traumatic Stress in the Family
Child and Family Traumatic Stress Intervention

If people are questioning your drinking or using and you are a parent,
Mother touches new born baby tenderly
We love our babies with the best intentions
But you know you are a good parent no matter what & your intoxication habits do not affect your loving efforts with your children, your opinion may be delusional.

Adult Child of alcoholism or of a Behavioral Disordered Family

Growing up with chronic substance using parental figures is of course an experience riddled with at least covert abuse.

distorted childs face, Inappropriate comments from adults
Post Traumatic Stress in a teen
Trying to seem cool
Frightened Children act silly
Working hard to maintain their dignity
In the face of confusion

1.Neglect is abusive.
Parents who are under the influence are emotionally unavailable, which is neglectful.
Hang overs are all consuming events therefore creating a secondary level of unavailability.

2. Mood swings and personality changes are dramatically altered by intoxication and coming down.
Never knowing which face of Mommy or Daddy will meet me when I get home from school.

3. Driving under the influence is life threatening; These experiences create a pain body of fear.
Children who experience or interpret an event as life threatening can develop Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

4. Being picked up late, being lied to, being embarrassed by a parents drunken, disheveled appearance, or slurred words, lowers a child's self esteem giving them a base feeling of shame and humiliation, which sets up a depressive brain chemistry pattern.

The family can be only casual drinkers or occasional users
Addicts kids hands going together like a puzzle
Children are putting pieces of a puzzle together
Trying to learn how to be
and still be active in dysfunctions that sets up the same sort of thought disorder in their children.
With behaviors that are called process addiction.

Children who witness process addictions in their parents can also develop altered brain chemistry.

Work addicts
The Chronically malcontent
Eating disorders
Marital discord or problem between the parents and grandparents
Dating parents with serial mates
Internet addiction
Grudges and Resentments

In the state of child development, when a young person is trying to figure out if the world is a safe place. When they notice that their parent is too fearful, weak, or angry to face life on life's terms,
They believe life is not a safe place and this starts a pattern of depression.

Could it be that this is what sows the seeds of addiction and dysfunction in children who are born like a blank slate of unlimited potential?

If you are a drinker or user reading this, Is this what happened to you?

Wits End Interventions, sun rise over Catalina Island, California
If you are a parent of an addict or alcoholic, maybe you can spot these things as a part of how your loved one got into this sad state.

Have you been lovely parents and don't relate? Then know this. These are often the issues recovering people speak of in rehab in their effort to get sober.
Others do not relate.

If you are searching for help, how it got bad or where the addiction came from is not the most
Tell us your story, Killer Dana, Surffer looking out to sea
Intervention is a rescue
important factor to consider at this point.

The important thing is to get help now, before your loved one gets any sicker or hurts more people.

If you think you are a good parent, Good,
Then your intention is to be a good parent.
Now, realize what that means on the deepest level.

person, looks at the 12 steps, reach the open door to freedom and blue skys
Trust the process of Recovery
Steps to change your thinking
To change your experience
Dig deep, are you breaking promises you made to your yourself?
Recovery can help you find your way to live up to your intentions.

Stand in line with your beliefs.

Introduce more integrity into your family life.
Call Loriann to discuss your rehab options, inpatient, outpatient, sober coaching, medical detox.

Call right now in all confidentiality, and with no obligation, just to talk and gather info.

Reaching out is the appropriate, respectful thing to do. 949-292-2000

To Tell Us your Story Click Here

Verify your Insurance Benefits to see what kind of Rehab Help they cover Click Here

To help your loved one get ready and willing to go to treatment
Click Here to learn about Dignity and respect Interventions by Witts End.

We help facilitate, willing self admits - by presenting the reality of treatment
as a common, and acceptable way of dealing with stress.
The fear of being judged and the anxiety associated with an unknown experience
keeps many people stuck, and afraid to get some help.
Intervention smooths the transition with lots of information and someone to walk you through.

Post new comment

The content of this field is kept private and will not be shown publicly.
  • Web page addresses and e-mail addresses turn into links automatically.
  • Allowed HTML tags: <a> <em> <strong> <cite> <code> <ul> <ol> <li> <dl> <dt> <dd>
  • Lines and paragraphs break automatically.
  • You may quote other posts using [quote] tags.

More information about formatting options

Melanie Greenberg, Ph.D., studies the health effects of expressive writing, cognitive adaptation to trauma, the genesis and treatment of chronic pain, among other coping issues.


Subscribe to The Mindful Self-Express

Current Issue

Just Say It

When and how should we open up to loved ones?