The Middle Ground

The creative way to enriching your relationship.

In the Shadow of Our Collective Sadness

In the shadow of our collective sadness, we feel grateful that a man of Nelson Mandella‚Äôs stature has graced our lives . . . it brings me such pain to think of the plight of so many in the American military. Ponder this fact: during the most recent complete calendar year, 2012, more U.S. soldiers died from suicide than from battle casualties . . . Read More

Marty, you illuminate a big

Marty, you illuminate a big problem in the U.S. military and, I would add, corporate America as well. Even in this age of supposed enlightenment, those who suffer from psychological anguish endure their experience far too often in shame and silence. Broken bones are treated with dispatch, but broken spirits are left to languish because we still put a premium on the "stiff upper lip" and being "tough." You are so right, though: the definition of true strength lies in knowing ourselves well enough to know when we need help, reaching out to get it, and also, in extending support to those around us who find themselves lost and in pain. Thank you!

Thanks for commenting!

Dear BBD,
Thank you for reading and commenting. I appreciate your support and your perceptive comments.
Best,
Marty

Thank you Marty

Your commentary is astute and timely. Thanks for the share

In the Shadow ...

Men and women choosing military careers tend to maintain and promote a "suck it up" and "tough it out" mentality when it comes to physical injuries. And our society is very supportive and charitable when our vets return with arms and legs missing. Many vets respond by working hard at what they perceive to be concrete rehabilitation goals; they are " wounded warriors." No one yells at them to "stand up and walk." Unfortunately, emotional injuries and pain aren't viewed the same way. These are more commonly perceived as signs of personal weakness, rehab goals less concrete or achievable, blame replaces pity. Very sad.

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Marty Babits is Co-Director of Family and Couples Treatment Service, a division of the Institute for Contemporary Psychotherapy in New York City.

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