symbol of fairness and balance
In spite of all the short-sighted shenanigans we see being played out in public life, America has produced a crop of young adults who are clear-eyed and articulate about
moral issues. Right?
Eminent sociologist Christian Smith of Notre Dame explored this and other related questions in an extensive research project conducted in 2008. Smith and colleagues released the results of their findings in a new book entitled, Lost in Transition.
The participants in the study - aged 18 to 25 -- were found to be "lost" or deficient, not in their moral behavior, but in their ability to think and talk in moral terms.
Asked to comment on whether cheating on a school test, cheating on a partner, or driving drunk were morally right or wrong, respondents were noncommittal. Questioned more closely about the moral dimension of these activities, the respondents either remained silent or made statements such as, ‘Thinking about right and wrong is something I don't do every day.'
The study prompted me to wonder: What do these results say about the new crop of relationships that these young adults are forming, have formed or will form?
Is it possible to conduct a loving relationship without being able to discuss matters of fairness? Without weighing in on values?
A person's ability to ponder moral issues—fairness, equity, considerateness—all illuminate their capacity for empathy and compassion.
In Smith's study young adults were asked to describe a moral dilemma they had experienced. Many replied with silence. Others' responses were so wide of the mark that they seemed like non-sequiturs. For example, one respondent recalled a time when he had too few quarters to feed a parking meter. Another spoke of being uncertain, in the midst of apartment hunting, whether she would be able to afford the monthly rental price.
The cognitive side of moral thinking involves skill in comparing and contrasting actions, thoughts, feelings and situational contexts. Having the vocabulary to discuss these issues is also a factor. Young adults are coming up short here. Among other factors, it calls into question the adequacy of their education.
Moral thinking, in the service of love and intimacy, is an essential aspect of human creativity. It is a developmental achievement and serves as a bedrock upon which individuals create their sense of self, their relationship to others and their communities.
Moral integrity is a key to emotional maturity and development. A person who cannot think or converse on moral issues is unlikely to be able to make the sacrifices or evidence the patience that is necessary if a long-term commitment is to be honored, if a long-term relationship is to flourish.
Some enter relationships without the emotional maturity necessary to share their time and personal energy lovingly should a situation call for them to prioritize their partner's or family's needs above their own immediate desires.
Partners who do not communicate the thinking that informs their actions run the risk of having those actions misunderstood. Communications based upon misunderstanding can cause disconnection.
Partners, like the young adults in the study, who respond with bewilderment or tangential notions when asked to zero in on the moral dimension, are vulnerable to confusion and disconnection.
This strain of ill-preparedness—inability to address moral dilemmas—often constitutes the root cause of a relationship's deterioration.
Some individuals, however, respond to the stress of interpersonal and/or moral dilemmas they face in relationship by generating or further developing the very capacities that they had lacked. These partners grow into themselves as they struggle to maintain connection.
The emphasis in American education on standardized testing, the increasing marginalization of music and art is at odds with the need to develop complex, critical and creative capacities so necessary to the process of identifying, thinking through, articulating ideas about the moral dimension of experience. Many argue that the current trend—referred to by some as 'teaching to the test'—is educationally unsound. Not only does it fail to encourage vigorous, engaged scholarship but, perhaps even more importantly, it also fails to provide our students with the cognitive and
interpersonal skills they need to succeed in forming loving and empathic relationships.
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Remember, love and good feelings are plentiful yet elusive; I'll be around to help you locate and develop them in the Middle Ground.
