In many families, the rule of silence is a quiet collusion. Many children feel they are betraying their parents and their family if they talk honestly. Read More
Well it took me I would say about a decade for me to see my mother in a honest light, and how perverse our relationship actually was. Also had to admit her role in our poverty etc.
I could write my own article on this topic, but I won't. I will say this: I learned not to ask questions in my adult relationships, before I jumped in! I'm in one now, and even though I know the family of origin, and asked questions, it is still falling apart. I know he's not the only one to blame, but he didn't have an alcoholic parent, but has all the signs. He's an alcoholic, himself. This one baffles me.
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Claudia Black, M.S.W., Ph.D., works in the fields of addiction, codependency, and recovery.
When and how should we open up to loved ones?