The Main Ingredient

Getting out of my comfort zone.

by Robert Wilson

The Victory of Vulnerability

We repel the very intimacy we desire from our relationships. We do this by hiding our vulnerability, by building impervious walls - personas - to protect us from embarrassment and shame. Contrary to our beliefs, vulnerability is disarming, and makes aggressors back down. Read More

The Perfect Ad

Every product and service solves a problem or satisfies a need for someone. A good ad speaks in terms of solutions to problems. People are motivated by solutions. Read More

Here's When Creative Thinking Kicks In

Innovation and creativity are all about solving problems or satisfying needs. And, there are three times when we are most likely to think creatively. Read More

How to Move Forward

I found that I was paralyzed and unable to be the driving force my business needed to stay afloat. It was then, that I realized I had failed to take a critical beginning step. It was something I should have known. It was a vital component of creative thinking that I’d been teaching others for years. Read More

The Second Mouse Gets the Cheese

Today our sluggish economy is screaming for some innovation. Unfortunately, at the same time, our society is shunning risk like never before. In the name of protecting people, our government has stepped up regulation on business to the point that it has stifled innovation; and the accompanying penalties for violating them has upped the ante on risk. Read More

What's Holding You Back?

I noticed the training wheels on my son’s bike were no longer touching the ground. He was riding without them. “Let’s take those off,” I said. “No Daddy, I’m not ready.” He couldn’t see what I saw, and I didn’t know how to show that to him. Read More

What's Behind Door Number 3?

The next hatbox I pulled off the top shelf of the closet nearly tipped me off the ladder. It was the weight that surprised me; it was far too heavy for just a hat. As I regained my balance, I wondered why this one weighed more than the others. I set it on the vanity and started untying the strings. I was curious if it would reveal any secrets... Read More

This Story has a Happy Ending... I Promise!

He was a big guy, who looked like a TV mobster; and with his heavy Brooklyn accent, I believed he’d break my legs. I scooped up my presentation notebook, and silently left. Welcome to New York City. Read More

Not Gonna Hold My Breath

There's a reason why Hope was at the bottom of Pandora’s box. When we are rendered impotent by circumstances: the concentration camp prisoner, the innocent person on death row, the homeless; Hope motivates us to keep going. Unfortunately, hope is not going to help us succeed in life. Read More

KA-BOOM! The Explosive Pain of Shame

I stepped onto the stage and told my first joke. To my shock no one laughed. So, I moved right onto my next one. Again, no one laughed. I’d never experienced this before and I started to feel a sense of panic. Read More

Example is the Only Way to Influence Others

Things are looking pretty grim. You’re not just sinking; one of the decks below is on fire. Plus, all your sails are aflame, lighting up the night and making the damage to your ship clearly visible. You can see that half your crew is dead. You were outnumbered to begin with, now the odds of victory seem impossible. Read More

Lubricate with Laughter

It is impossible to hate someone who makes you laugh. Laughter is a bonding agent that we experience initially as babies when we develop our very first relationships - the ones with our parents; and it continues to be the social lubricant which enables us to make friends throughout our lives. Read More

Bouncing off the Bottom

"You are going to die," Burt told Valerie after she said she wanted a divorce. The 26 year old policeman lifted a rifle and pointed it at her face.

"No. Please no!" begged Valerie.

Ignoring her pleas and the tears streaming down her cheeks, Burt continued to aim the gun at a point right between her eyes. Read More

Craving Connection

Steve and I spent a lot of time together, but he made me uncomfortable. I ignored those feelings because my hunger for connection was a stronger motivator than my fear of trouble. Read More

Criticism Sucks

Before I worked for him full time, I had worked for him freelance. During those days, he praised my work, and constantly asked me to work for him full time. I liked being a freelancer, and was reluctant to take a regular job. Then one day, he made the proverbial offer I couldn’t refuse. After that the praise stopped and the criticism began. Read More

You’ll Know When You’ve Arrived

During the 1996 Summer Olympics, I saw a young athlete with his brand new silver medal around his neck and a massive smile on his face. He was so thrilled with his achievement that he was mixing and mingling with everyone he met on the sidewalk. Perfect strangers were shaking his hand, slapping him on the back, and having their picture taken with him. Read More

Good Stuff also Comes in Threes

I discovered a contest asking amateurs to make TV commercials for a famous ketchup brand. Instantly I had an idea for a romantic comedy in which ketchup brought two young lovers together. Read More

STOP Bugging Me!

The stench rising off the dead bodies was over-powering. It was so thick you could taste it. Sandy pulled a dust-mask respirator over his face, but the smell still penetrated. To speed up the decomposition process he quickly shoveled manure over the decaying flesh. The manure cut the odor somewhat, that is, if you don’t mind the stink of cow dung. Then as he flung each shovelful of waste over the bodies, a black cloud of fat flesh flies would rise into the air. It was a disgusting job that wasted hours of his day, but there weren’t many alternatives. Read More

Empathy on Empty

“He’s a drunk; I’m calling the police!” I couldn’t believe the callous response. “This man is hurt,” I cried. He doesn’t need the police - he needs help!” I roused the man and got him to his feet. “Come on Mister, let me take you home.” I took his arm and we started walking. In the middle of the third block he veered off the sidewalk and into the street where he stopped. Then to my shock, while I was holding him up, he unzipped his fly and began urinating in the middle of the road. I was mortified. Read More

The Magic of Commitment is No Mystery

The room became very quiet, and as I glanced around the table, I saw a dozen perfect poker faces. No one wanted this commitment. I raised my hand and said, “I’ll do it.” A collective sigh issued from the group and several congratulated me on accepting such a big responsibility. I basked in the accolades and beamed an appreciative smile back to everyone. It didn’t take but a few days before I was lamenting, “What the heck was I thinking?” Read More

Take the Plunge

“I hate you! I’m going to kill you tonight after you fall asleep.” screamed nine year old Jerry to his foster mother. It was hard to believe such hateful words could come from this adorable child with big blue eyes and an impish face. Dee loves Jerry and wants to adopt him, but these angry outbursts frighten her. She tries to imagine what he will be like, if he does not learn how to control his anger, when he is a teenager and outsizes her in both height and weight. Read More

What’s the Worst that can Happen?

“Who wants to give their oral report first?” Asked my sixth grade teacher. The dreaded day had finally arrived when each of us would have to stand in front of the room and speak to the class. Not a single hand went up. In fact, there was no movement in the room at all. There wasn’t a desk creaking under the shifting weight of a single body, no paper rustling, no pencils scratching, not even a cough. Nothing. The room had never been quieter.

“The girls always talk to guys on the football team, you should go out for football,” advised Tony. It was all the motivation I needed. So, without ever having played the game before, without even knowing the rules, I joined the football team. I immediately found that I hated it... but quitting was not an option. Read More

Life Lessons From My Cat

Roxy came up to my chair and meowed for attention. I picked her up, held her and started rubbing her soft fur. I knew from past experience that she didn’t like that, and she immediately began to squirm and try to jump out of my arms. Nevertheless - in the spirit of Albert Einstein’s observation that insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results - I hoped that she would start liking it. Read More

Keep Your Power

I had to fight several more boys that year before the name-calling stopped. It was not the solution I wanted, but it worked. It took me years to learn that the problem was mine; that I was giving away my power every time I reacted to taunting and teasing. And, it’s a problem that doesn’t go away with childhood. Read More

What’s Keeping You Awake?

Over the years, I’ve ruminated over all sorts of things. Big issues I have little or no control over like politics, the environment, terrorism, and the economy. Personal issues that I need to affect such as my business, my family, and my relationships. I have even worried over my volunteer work. Churning the same thoughts over and over again. Read More

Chill Out

The boys slumped against the wall of the dugout; you could read the despair on their faces. “What’s the point?” mumbled the right fielder, “We’re just going to lose again.” The team was on an eight game losing streak, with a record of 3 & 8 and five games left to play. As the coach for the nine-year old Little League Orioles, I was frustrated. We had some of the finest talent in the league including the best pitcher and the best hitter, but the boys had already given up. I thought, “What can you do when there is no hope of winning?” Read More

Instead of Serving It Cold... Don’t Serve It at All

I was enraged when she told me the story. As a hormone-filled sixteen year old, I wanted to retaliate on her behalf. I told her I would get two hundred pounds of salt; then under the cover of night, use it to write a message on his lawn. Within a few days, alphabet-shaped sections of his grass would die. Revenge would be sweet as his neighbors read in brown letters the profane words that described the true nature of his character.
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Change Please

Motivation is all about motion or movement. In other words, if you are comfortable, if you are happy and content, then you DO NOT move. You do not change. Why would you? On the other hand, if you are uncomfortable, if you’re unhappy, then you want to change. You want to move back toward your comfort zone. There are millions of motivators in the world and all of us at any one time is being motivated by a dozen or more. Read More

Good Habit - Questionable Motive

Mom wanted to fit in, join the discussions, be an authority in her own right. In short, she wanted to feel important in her new family, and she realized that she needed more knowledge. Determined to find a way to reduce her education deficit, she threw herself into reading. Read More