What does it mean to be kind to yourself or "love yourself"? People say you should do it, but how?
A list of prototypical acts of self-soothing might help define what people mean by self-love:
Take a slow hot bath.
Eat cake (not too much).
Go for a walk without a destination.
Those acts of self-soothing look a lot like "practicing patience." Maybe loving yourself, especially these days when people are asked to work for so much of the day, often includes slowing down. Because working so much means subordinating or hiding the passive side of ourselves, we have to recapture that side of self through a bit of self-love. In this form, self-love can look like indulgence, or escaping the pressure of work.
Or do you ever "love yourself" by speeding up?
Dance without self-consciousness.
Be assertive with a boss without worrying about how you sound.
Go out very late.
If your moments of self-love come through speeding up, maybe it's because you've been denying a different part of the self: You've lived with the brakes on, and you deserve to let the beast out now, to take risks, to have less fear. Maybe self-love is just finding that side of the self which has been shut down and allowing it to roam free for a bit.